Happy Mother's Day

Hi Friends :)

Isn't it funny how we moms (or maybe its just me...) set ourselves up by thinking that because it is Mothers Day we will be spared all of the tough tasks that we face each and every day with our families?   As if somehow, the 6 and 9 year olds will act developmentally inappropriately mature, and not squabble or whine, merely because this is the day that we celebrate Mothers, and all they do?  Every year I fool myself into thinking I will have a wonderfully relaxing day and that the practice of parenting will be put on hold while I lavish in the love and appreciation that is bestowed on my by my grateful and humble children....

Ha!

Here is really what happened...

I got up early (sleeping in is almost impossible for me) and went for a run.  This was pretty fabulous alone time, for sure.  I get back to the house and my husband is still in bed and the kids are 3 shows in to their weekend cartoon time (they each get to pick two shows to watch on Saturday and Sunday mornings).  Neither of them have eaten.  I let them know that I am going to take a shower and then I will run over to Safeway for bagels.  I also remind them that they each have a tub of clothes to sort and either put away or put in the laundry before we can head over to a family gathering...  We would be leaving at 11...  Perhaps they wanted to get that started now????

Fast forward and I have showered and returned from the store.  Ian has charged his room and is excited to come down for his bagel.  Rowan, however, is dragging her feet, unwilling to get the clothes sorting task done.  A long story short, as I race around downstairs getting things ready so we can go, I hear Rowan upstairs on her microphone, singing.  Now, if she's on the mic, no clothes folding is going on.  I take the microphone and again remind her that we will be ready to go at 11 (its now 10:45).  I head downstairs.

Moments later, there she is, telling her dad, "No, I won't do my clothes."  Oh, I think, is this a challenge?

"Yes," I say, firmly, "you have agreed to do this and it needs to get done."

"No," she says.

"Go upstairs and get this done so we can go, please,"  I say.  At this point my body begins to tingle and it is almost as if a sense of panic sets in.  Anger that she is challenging me mixes with a sense of fear and dread that I can't really make her do what I want.

"FINE!" she yells, and I catch a glimpse of the 15 year old she will one day become.  She runs upstairs, howling at the injustice of being held to her word...

Happy freaking Mothers Day.

The meltdown went on and on (45 minutes).  One thing after another set her off.  You know when the kids just can't seems to snap out of it?  Ugh.  And the more she fell apart, the more I wanted to pull away.  I then grabbed my journal and went to wait for the family in the car.

This is what I wrote:

"Well, it's Mothers Day, and Rowan is having the mother of all meltdowns.  She is obviously feeling disconnected and hurting and I am having a really hard time finding any sympathy for her..."


As soon as I wrote those words something inside of me shifted.  Rowan was feeling disconnected and hurting.  Disconnected and hurting.

Right at that moment, she walked outside.  I got out of the car and gave her a big hug.  We stood there for a while, not talking, just holding each other.

"I love you, Rowan,"  I said.

"I love you, too."

"Are you okay?"  I asked.

"Yeah."

She had finished her task.  No words of reprimand from me about how she had acted, just authentic, unconditional love.  Then we both got in the car.  Ben and Ian hopped in as well.  Once we were all together Rowan said, "I'm sorry that I had such a huge meltdown, everybody."  What a gift, she even made amends...

So it turns out that we never get a break from the practice of parenting.  It doesn't matter if it is our birthday, or Christmas, or Mothers Day.  The rest of my day today was great.  We spent time with extended family, laughing and eating yummy food.  I was again reminded of how glad I am to be a mama to my two amazing little people.  And I definitely did my share of taking advantage of "go ask your dad," knowing it was my day to do that.

Tomorrow is a new day, and the practice continues.  Much love to all you mamas out there.  I hope you were pampered all day and that your kids were easy.  If not, maybe a weekend away should be in the works for next year!!!

Smiles,
Casey