Are you committed to long term parenting?
Are you committed to raising your children to one day be adults with the skills they need to navigate the world? Skills like problem solving, self-regulation, organization, compassion, and solution finding?
When you look ahead, are you hopeful that your adult child can advocate for themselves, get out of tricky situations, fight for what they believe in, and embrace mistakes as opportunities to learn and take accountability?
Do you want them to be responsible, to use their voice, to know that they can get through even the toughest emotions and situations?
Then you must allow them to practice these skills - over and over again.
And consider laying off the consequences.
Wait, what did she just say?
Yup, you read that right:
I am inviting you to consider putting consequences at the BOTTOM of your list of parenting tools.
Why would I suggest this?
Well, there are a couple of reasons. The first one is that consequences often don’t teach the skills kids need for navigating situations differently. Instead, consequences are used as a “you had better do this or that or else” type of strategy. And that assumes that your child already has the skills they need to do better, and that the threat of consequence will somehow “motivate” them to handle things differently.