Eps 103: Solo Show Digging Under the Surface of Bedtime Challenges

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Who needs sleep? If you think about your best parenting moments vs. your more challenging ones I think we could venture to say that sleep OR lack of sleep would be a BIG contender.  We have all been there. We move fluidly through that familiar bedtime routine, finish that last Llama Llama page, kisses, lights out….. We are no further from the kitchen when we hear “Mooooooooooom”!!! or Daaaaaaadddddeeeeeeeeeeee”! Sigh.

Mama Christine posted this week about her daughter’s sleep struggles “oh, tribe, apologies for the long post, but I'm in dire need of some help. bedtime. dear lord, my daughter is 5, and it. is. brutal. her bedroom is on the first floor, mine is upstairs. she's often hungry before bedtime, so we usually do a snack like high fat yogurt and fruit. after bedtime jobs are done, i read to her, we sing, and say our goodnights...generally 20ish minutes. nearly every night, she's out of bed for any number of 'reasons': need to say goodnight to the dog, still hungry, thirsty, needs to say something to me, needs to ask me a question, needs another hug, says she can't sleep (within minutes of me leaving her bedroom) and the list goes on”. 

Christine is not alone here, otherwise there would not be a book called Go the F@ck to Sleep . Let’s break this struggle down, so Christine can get some sleep and her little one can feel peaceful slumber.

What you will hear:

·      Iceberg view – top of the iceberg; requests, getting our of bed, one last… Under the surface; belonging and significance, influence, connection

·      Mischief showing up when we have misguided ideas about belonging and significance

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·      Getting curious, noticing lack of skills to complete task (ie going to sleep)

·      Getting curious so we can be solution minded, see where child has influence

·      Children long for connection, they settle for attention

·      Creating routines that help kids know what is happening and allowing them to have influence

·      Making agreements to help kids create boundaries

·      What is my child’s perspective?

·      Asking how am I feeding this problem?

Link to Deborah MacNamara

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