Eps 118: Tosha Schore Talks About How We Can Parent Our Boys For A More PEACEFUL World

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 My guest today is Tosha Schore, M.A. Tosha brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting, and will lift your parenting confidence! She is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. 

A sought after coach, author and speaker, Tosha is committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. Through her online and in-person offerings, she supports parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. 

Tosha is a trainer of Hand in Hand Parenting and co-author with the organization's founder, Patty Wipfler, of "Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Challenges." She is also creator of the wildly popular "Parenting Boys Peacefully! A FREE 10-Day Reconnect," and the new online course, "Out With Aggression!" 

You can find Tosha on her website, www.toshaschore.com, and on FB at Tosha Schore, Your Partner In Parenting Boys.

Content:

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  • Raising boys in these days of toxic masculinity
  • Taking a hard look at the ways that men are conditioned
  • Creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time
  • The question of how to help our boys grow into emotionally intelligent men who don’t see women as objects is worldwide
  • How to help our boys grow up to be peaceful – Huff Post article
  • Move beyond the anger and the fear to what we can DO
  • Opportunity shows up in raising our boys
    • We need to teach our boys that there are lots of ways to be close that aren’t sexual
    • It’s ok to talk, cuddle, hold hands – lots of ways of being intimate
  • Documentary of The Mask You Live In
    • Not giving permission to boys for having intimate friendships with other boys
    • Navigating the jockeying for power among boys
  • Redefining what it means to be masculine
  • What is being modeled in the homes for our boys?
  • Increase our own emotional intelligence and pay attention to how we navigate and model our own upset
  • Boys being encouraged to stuff their emotions
  • Not comfortable with allowing our boys the time and space to have feelings
  • Help them feel comfortable with their full array of emotions – not just anger
  • Popular culture isn’t helpful
  • Advocate/ Fight for the right of our boys to have feelings
  • AND advocate for them to make mistakes and learn from them
  • When our boys make mistakes we need to help them
  • Talk about music lyrics and porn and do it when they are YOUNG
  • Amy Lang – parent educator, parenting through our children’s sexual development
  • Start talking to your boys
  • Don’t let your discomfort get in the way of letting our boys be their whole selves
  • Amy’s short video about having convos about sexual harassment/assault with our kids
  • Talking to our kids about standing up to friends who are harassing others
  • Seize opportunities for modeling/showing them what it looks like to “do what’s right”
  • Story of masculinity inside of supporting a woman on Reddit
  • Acknowledging that standing up for what is right is challenging!!
  • Teachable moments are when they make mistakes and getting into mischief
  • Final thoughts – “hurt people hurt people” – boys and men are hurting and therefore hurting others… when we help them heal from their hurts, we are solving the problem

Where to find Tosha:

www.toshaschore.com

10 day reconnect parenting boys peacefully

www.listenthebook.com

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