Eps 67: Nicole Schwarz and I puzzle out sibling conflict questions from the community

Today’s guest is Nicole Schwarz, from Imperfect Families. She’s a mom of 3 girls, a parenting coach and child and family therapist who focuses on helping parents use positive, respectful strategies with their kids. Today we are talking about sibling conflict. The questions we are discussing come straight from the community - join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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    How to keep sibling conflict to a dull roar with a relationship focus in your parenting

    Balancing the desire to step in with giving space for them to work it out for themselves

    “Say what you see” approach to conflict resolution by describing it

    Role of modeling and coaching for creative solutions

    Deescalating techniques to resolve conflict

    Understanding the role of neurological development on decision making in conflict

    Having empathy for a sense of injustice and encouraging empathy in your kids

    Teaching kids that “people get what they need” and how that might be different and lead to perceived inequity

    Understanding impulse control limitations and flooding and how it leads to physical acting out

    Using proactive practice and play based knowledge to avoid future conflict

    How to focus on what led to acting out to avoid shaming while encouraging learning

    Exercising compassion around evolving nature of self-regulation

    Understanding jealous and resentment around new babies and the needs of other siblings

    Introducing the concept of mixed feelings to kids who are too young to have that insight for themselves

    Coaching around sharing toys and how to place limits on it – sharing power, soliciting and implementing solutions from your kids

    Improving connection to reduce rivalry – using one-on-one time to address your child’s jealousy

    The value of shifting focus from our kid’s behavior to our own behavior – recognizing it’s the only thing we can control

    Contextualizing power struggles as kids trying to navigate their world

    Reframing “bossy” behavior in a positive way and channeling it for good

    Changing how we see tattling

    The value of redo’s and self care

 

Resources:

Brain in the Palm for Kids video
Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber
Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For Life by Dr. Laura Markham
 

Where to find Nicole:

Facebook l Twitter I Her website

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