Today’s guest is Lisa Fuller. Lisa Fuller, M.S.W., Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, has been working with parents since 2005 to help them find joy and moment of peace even in the midst of chaos. Lisa’s a compassionate listener whose committed to empowering parents through Positive Discipline’s common sense principles. Having three children ages 21, 17 and 10, Lisa’s steeped in the challenges and joys of parenting. Lisa also offers one on one coaching for parenting and life! She believes the world is a better place when we—adults and children—strive to treat each other with respect and love.
Today we are talking about developing shame resilience.
“Shame is something that we all have. It’s universal. Every human being experiences shame – those who don’t usually have some significant problems. It’s not a bad thing. That’s one good thing about shame – it means you are a caring human being.”
What you’ll hear in this episode:
- What is shame and why should we talk about it?
- How positive discipline relates to shame
- Shame and guilt – what’s the difference? How do they connect to humiliation and embarrassment?
- The physical sensations of shame
- The individual personal nature of shame
- Practicing critical awareness – how to reality check the messages that are driving your shame
- The value of having someone to talk through shame with
- What makes a good person to talk shame with
- How to encourage shame resilience in children
- Reducing shame by normalizing experiences
- Creating opportunities for belonging
- What it means to lead with the message with love
- How to connect without trying to fix
- Empathy and shame – how to support when you can’t relate to the experience
- Cultivating relationships that allow us to speak to our shame
- How to show up in your relationships that shows you are a safe place to talk shame
- Doing vs Being – their roles in building shame resilience
- Personal practices for finding joy within instead of looking to our children to complete us
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
Taking risks with heart. The courage is taking the risks and moving ahead and doing it but doing it with your full being. The last couple years I’ve had some very significant deaths in my life and I think in so many ways it’s been a gift – it does highlight joy, the simple joy of being alive and how I’m able to be more grateful that I have this gift of life which isn’t going to last forever. Losing people who are close to us that’s the upside is that we go “Wow, this is temporary, this life, it really is.” I think when we get caught in the swirl of parenting we can ‘beam in’ – these other, bigger issues help us beam out. Joy helps with shame and getting perspective.
Monthly Support Group (With Marcillie Smith Boyle and Lisa Fuller)
Where to find Lisa:
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Join me every Tuesday at 10am pst on the Joyful Courage FB page to hear about a new Positive Discipline tool that you can begin using ASAP. Even if you are well versed in parenting with PD, you will take a way a renewed commitment and perhaps a deeper understanding of the tool.
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