Eps 150: Solo Show! Getting Real About Transitioning Into Summer

DSC_6382bw.jpg

I am on speaking directly from the tranches…. Feeling the stretch and pull of raising adolescent kids. Kind and firm, yes, and IT’S HARD!!  Moving into summer and thinking about routines and agreements.

Enjoy!

Eps 96: Melissa Benaroya talks Summer Routines and Structures

Eps 129: Solo Show - Using the Iceberg Metaphor to Understand Behavior

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

Small group coaching  

4 weeks
4 participants
$99

Head to the Live and Love with Joyful Courage to find a time that works for you.

:::

Living Joyful Courage MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM

I would love LOVE to have you in the membership. It’s some good learning and community – EXACTLY what you need to transform the climate of your home.

Check it out à www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc

:::

Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH June 15th!

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 117: Solo show - A Bit About Choosing in, Being Kind and Firm, Making Agreements and Following Through

Big thanks to the community!  Thank you for listening and supporting the work of Joyful Courage!

Please pass on this show to AT LEAST one person who you think it will land with! Your sharing helps me grow and expand this work – YOU are helping to create the impact and make the world a better place.

Content:

snapchat headshot stars.png
  • I am on the journey with you, I am with you! Highs and lows, you are my peeps!

  • The teen saga continues….

  • Having a teen is like birth, you think you’re so prepared and then…. Reality hits!

  • Teen brain experiences everything so intensely

  • Eps 115 was all about trust and surrender

  • Celebrate the relationship

  • Using and developing breath as a tool

  • 4:45 Our children are our teachers – they picked us!

  • We don’t know what we don’t know and our children highlight that for us

  • Their way of being invites our “stuff” to the surface

  • We then choose how to respond

  • End of the day – they are operating from their developmental place, limited skills, brain development

  • 7:50 Parenting is a never-ending growth and development workshop – we can choose to resist or to grow/evolve

  • 9:15 There is a purpose to this journey

  • Let’s live a life where we are paying attention

  • Our children show us stepping stones to our own growth

  • When we choose into growth and learning we can influence the experience we are having

  • You can only change yourself, you can’t change others

  • Positive Discipline for Teenagers

  • Mistakes our kids make can rock our foundation and philosophy around parenting

  • Being kind and firm at the same time is one of the pillars

  • Peeling back layers of what that ^^ means

  • Kindness only = permissive

  • Firmness only = authoritarian

  • Kind isn’t NICE, it’s connected, firm is respecting ourselves and the situation

  • It’s about progress not perfection, and becoming ever more AWARE of what is happening for us

  • Making agreements is a kind and firm PD parenting tool

  • Get into our child’s world, here what their needs are, share what we need, make a plan together, declare a deadline, follow through (parents)

  • “What was our agreement?”

  • It’s not about being nice while we deliver a consequence…

  • The invitation is to make agreements with YOUR children

  • Not necessarily about the problem we solve, instead it is more about the life skills the kids are practicing inside of the agreement-making

  • Not about finding a solution that lasts forever – every solution has a shelf life

:::::

DAILY INTENTION CARDS


Instagram Followers!!

 What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards

:::::

FAMILY MEETING ECOURSE

6 week email course that guides you in setting up the family meeting routine/practice. It is on demand so that as soon as you sign up the emails will begin to show up in your inbox!

Sign up now:

http://www.joyfulcourage.com/family-meeting-ecourse

:::::

COACHING WITH CASEY

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 103: Solo Show Digging Under the Surface of Bedtime Challenges

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Who needs sleep? If you think about your best parenting moments vs. your more challenging ones I think we could venture to say that sleep OR lack of sleep would be a BIG contender.  We have all been there. We move fluidly through that familiar bedtime routine, finish that last Llama Llama page, kisses, lights out….. We are no further from the kitchen when we hear “Mooooooooooom”!!! or Daaaaaaadddddeeeeeeeeeeee”! Sigh.

Mama Christine posted this week about her daughter’s sleep struggles “oh, tribe, apologies for the long post, but I'm in dire need of some help. bedtime. dear lord, my daughter is 5, and it. is. brutal. her bedroom is on the first floor, mine is upstairs. she's often hungry before bedtime, so we usually do a snack like high fat yogurt and fruit. after bedtime jobs are done, i read to her, we sing, and say our goodnights...generally 20ish minutes. nearly every night, she's out of bed for any number of 'reasons': need to say goodnight to the dog, still hungry, thirsty, needs to say something to me, needs to ask me a question, needs another hug, says she can't sleep (within minutes of me leaving her bedroom) and the list goes on”. 

Christine is not alone here, otherwise there would not be a book called Go the F@ck to Sleep . Let’s break this struggle down, so Christine can get some sleep and her little one can feel peaceful slumber.

What you will hear:

·      Iceberg view – top of the iceberg; requests, getting our of bed, one last… Under the surface; belonging and significance, influence, connection

·      Mischief showing up when we have misguided ideas about belonging and significance

103 headshot.png

·      Getting curious, noticing lack of skills to complete task (ie going to sleep)

·      Getting curious so we can be solution minded, see where child has influence

·      Children long for connection, they settle for attention

·      Creating routines that help kids know what is happening and allowing them to have influence

·      Making agreements to help kids create boundaries

·      What is my child’s perspective?

·      Asking how am I feeding this problem?

Link to Deborah MacNamara

:::::

Click here to find out more about A Mother's Journey to Joyful Courage - coming Fall 2017 to Bellingham, Seattle and Portland!

:::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Young Living Essential Oil

You’ve heard me speak a bit about the benefits I am experiencing with Young Living Essential Oils – let me know if you want to chat more by shooting me an email at casey@joyfulcourage.com OR go to http://bit.ly/caseyyloils - I am happy to support you!

:::::

Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 99: Casey is Solo Exploring Boundaries, Agreements and Screen Time

Welcome back to the show!

Let me share my own story from the trenches… You aren’t the only one who has kids who act like you are ruining their lives when you ask them to help our around the house…  AND, it is a beautiful thing when your kids turn it around and own their behavior, right? It is a good thing, yes, but I am getting curious about if I am inadvertently raising a people pleaser….?? 

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

A question from the community

Mama Denise shares “Literally losing my mind on first day of summer vacation over iPads. I don't have an ounce of energy for a single tool. I'm the worst mom ever, according to my daughter (5y 10mos). And my 7 1/2 yo son "needs this mower" on a farm simulator game. Literally feel like pitching these machines in the dumpster. Thank you for listening.”

These are the struggles where we can release most of the load and pull our kids into co-creation. Casey takes Denise’s familiar scenario and leads us through the practice of intention, presence and solution.

  • Showing up intentionally, rather than reactively

  • Creating intention and applying it to our lens and presence

  • Noticing the ease of intention when the ride is smooth and the rockiness when things fall apart

  • Creating routines that help kids know what is happening and allowing them to have influence

  • Making agreements to help kids create boundaries

  • Identifying needs vs. privileges. ex. Screen time – it is a privilege

  • Privilege comes after contributions

  • Difference between contribution vs. chores

  • A privilege differs from a reward

  • It’s not about “earning”, it’s about “management”

  • Guiding kids to have a voice in solutions when they feel an agreement or routine is not working

  • Seeing the tip of the iceberg and KNOW that beneath the surface is a request for boundaries

  • Allowing children a voice means we hold them as contributors to the cause

  • Children are more likely to follow through when they have a voice in the creation of the agreement

  • Introducing offer and counter offer tool – teaches parent how to let go of agenda, control and rigidity

  • Sharing power when stakes are low

Resources:

Routine Handout
Agreement Handout

Stay Tuned:

Coming up is our 100th Episode!!! I am so pleased and honored to have Tina Payne Bryson PhD, co-author of the Whole Brained Child, on our 100th Episode. 100 y’all! Can you believe it!? Tell your friends, co-workers and neighbors. Remember to subscribe for instant access to new podcasts and automatic access to scrumptious listening from pasts guests!

:::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Young Living Essential Oil

Today you heard me talk about how helpful Thieves Essential Oil was in keeping my family healthy.  If you are interested in finding out more about Young Living Essential Oils, feel free to email me at casey@joyfulcourage.com OR go to http://bit.ly/caseyyloils - I am happy to support you!

:::::

Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 82: A Conversation about Parenting in the Age of Smart Phones with Kim Muench

Today’s guest is Kim Muench, a mother of five, parenting writer, a certified parenting coach and lover of parents of adolescents. We are discussing navigating decisions around technology with our kids. Join us!

“Conscious parenting: being mindful and walking the tight rope between giving them autonomy and knowing when to step in and help them see the potential consequences of choices”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Balancing your need for control and desire to protect your kids with providing access to benefits of smart phones

  • Building trust, letting go of our own experiences and not projecting our own mischief (which can lead to friction)

  • Navigating the tightrope: being honest, open and self-aware as you work through technology use with your kids

  • Negotiating smart phone boundaries within your family

  • Scaffolding social media communication – building progressively

  • Adolescent boundary pushing as learning

  • Falling off the tight rope – learning as a practice and getting back up

  • Creating an agreement around technology usage – a collaborative approach subject to revision as needed initiated by either party

  • Limits as helping

  • Why you need open conversation about social media including topics such as safeguards and kindness

  • Technology as distraction and disconnection

  • Reassessing agreements on technology without blame and shame

  • The value of eye contact and being fully present in resolving conflict

  • How to address reigning in technology use under the umbrella of conscious parenting – identifying the source

  • Working collaboratively vs exerting control – what are the outcomes of these approaches?

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage is embracing your authentic self with enthusiasm and being brave enough to share that with the world – it is an every day practice.

Resources:

Screenagers documentary

Where to find Kim:

Website l Twitter l Facebook l LinkedIn

Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community

::::::::::

FEED 3,000

LET'S FEED SOME PEOPLE!!

I would love to invite you to join me in making 3,000 snack sacks over the next three months and take them to organizations that serve the hungry!!

Not one of us can make all those lunches ourselves - BUT ALL OF US TOGETHER SURE CAN!!

So here is the plan, host a gathering at your house and invite other families over. Have each family bring some supplies and together make as many snack sacks as you can!!

Click here for the Feed 3,000 Facebook Event Link

Click her to go donate to the Feeding America page.

::::::::::

Journey to Joy - a FREE mini ecourse
This month, I am offering you the chance to do the Journey to Joy mini-course as a way to honor all parents.  

Journey to joy is about shifting the dynamics of your being to shift the dynamics of your home.

For more information (did I mention it is FREE?) click here. If you already know you are a yes, simply scroll to the bottom of that page, enter your email, and get ready to elevate your life!

::::::::::

Join the LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE information list TODAY and enjoy freebies and reminders for when it is time to REGISTER for the membership program!!

::::::::::

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::::::::

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

Eps 55: Jo Langford Talks Porn, Sexting and Social Media

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::::::::

Jo Langford is a therapist and sex educator from Seattle, WA. Our conversation today will cover porn, social media ediquette, and sexting (yikes!). In a culture that is becoming ever more sexualized, how do we keep our kids safe and smart about what is out there? Joe and I have a very candid conversation about conversations to have with our children, while still maintaining relationship and family values…

Highlights:

  • Jo has two kids, a middle schooler and an almost middle schooler. He is living his work!

  • He’s been changing the world and making it better since high school.

  • Joe trains parents, teachers and staff of organizations such as the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club.

  • Harder for kids to NOT see porn, than it is to be ABLE to see it.

  • Families are getting in touch with Joe because their 10-16 year old is looking at a lot of porn parents talk about it and child continues to engage in it.

  • What conversations you can have with your kids when they are noticing all of the opportunities to see/look at porn.

  • When you see porn you can never “un-see” it.

  • Instead of “how do I keep my child from being exposed to porn?” today, we need to be asking, “how do I handle it when my child sees porn?” – this is the reality based on statistic

  • Open conversations are key… Keep them talking, by practicing your neutral face and manage your own stuff when they come to you to have tough conversations. The message becomes “I can handle what you bring me, no matter what.

  • What happens in the brain? Kicks up the pleasure centers, big hit of dopamine… If they continue to watch, the brain gets desensitized and wants to get to the next level.

  • Talk to kids about building boundaries around tech. Encourage them to have real relationships, how to unplug, how to manage friends/people who sext. Rules/guidelines around where the phone/screen lives at night… Don’t wait until you NEED the guidelines – put them into place now.

  • “Monitoring” software that Joe recommends – builds muscles of restraint and self control when kids have some access while also knowing that parents will see where they go – “we are trying to raise good grown ups”

  • Qustidio – controlled through wifi – put the browser on kids devices. Controls, time limits, helpful.

  • Disney’s Circle – easy to use, hooks up to wifi, all devices get put into categories (grown ups, teens, kids) and put time limits on use, also over 3G. AWESOME!

  • Best strategy is to put most of the ownership and responsibility on the kids.

  • “Not about me trusting you, it’s about you showing that you are trustworthy.”

  • Joe has amazingly helpful PDFs on his website

  • Making agreements together is key to our kids follow through.

  • The internet is forever! You leave a trail….

  • Grown ups are the models of what is appropriate/inappropriate – be good role models!

  • SM challenges Joe sees with parents – Snapchat, no way to monitor because it all disappears… “Deeper end of pool” – super popular. Starting out with Snapchat is a huge mistake – kids need to start with FB or IG, and wade into social networking pool to learn how to interact online. Snapchat is more for later/older teens.

  • Roll out the SM access, rather than giving kids full access from the beginning. Let them flex and develop their muscles.

  • Get on the apps they want to use with them, let them teach you, normalize communicating with each other through this media.

  • How do we help our kids deal with sexting? Statistically 20% - 30% of teens send pics, doubles when it is only “words” Girls sometimes start the behavior because they know the boys will respond. Joe advises the boys to respond with “this isn’t something you need to do… here are three things I like about you besides your boobs” – our girls are getting the wrong message about how to connect/get attention.

  • Joe has a PDF about sexting – great prompts for powerful conversation.

  • Kids have less hangups about sex and seem to be more comfortable with their bodies, but there is an abyss they can tumble into – we want them to be more discerning and thoughtful about who they share that with.

  • Musical.ly – lip synch app. Conversations about song choice and messages they are sending to the world. Others make meaning/assessments of you (kids) based on what you put out there….

  • Developing a discerning mind… All about practice.

 

Where to find Joe:

www.beheroes.net

Facebook l Twitter

Spare Me the Talk – written for teen boys

Spare Me the Talk the Girl Guide

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“Taking risks that make you feel good about yourself.”

:::::::::

#JoyfulCourage10
I would LOVE to have you check out the latest offer I have for parents - it is FREE and SUPER supportive!!  Just click here for more info and to register.

::::::::::

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::::::::

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

 

Episode 2: A conversation with Ariadne Brill about Making Agreements and Building Relationships

What a gift it was to spend time talking to Ariadne Brill of Positive Parenting Connection!  We dug into how making agreements with our kids helps them to develop a sense of trust and capability - while strengthening our relationship with them along the way.  Ariadne has some great ideas around how to bring more ease to mealtimes and shares some resources for parents for teaching and modeling self regulation.

Resources for listeners:

Check out Ariadne's book on Amazon - Twelve alternatives to time out

From Positive Parenting Connection - A post about creating a Chill-Out Corner with your child

The latest Joyful Courage post around making agreements - What was our agreement?

Find Positive Parenting Connection on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter

To stay up to date on blog post, Poscasts and events from Joyful Courage, join the newsletter list below - it takes a village!!

Name *
Name