Eps 161: Solo Show About Navigating Depression and Anxiety

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Solo show – sharing from personal experience

Recap what is happening with my teenager

  • If you listened last year, you heard the struggle

  • Online school

  • Clients I’ve worked with

  • Friends confiding in their experience

What the stats say

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  • My experience of finding information

  • What my gut tells me

  • The ways the world has changed

Why it’s so hard

  • Weight of fear/possible outcomes

  • Lack of control

  • Our own stories

PD is belonging and significance

  • Power of perception

  • What do we do when something feels “wrong” without giving message that they need to be fixed

  • The challenge of meeting them where they’re at

    • My experience with this….

    • Not knowing what this means

    • The dance of acting/fixing vs validating/being

The iceberg

  • Tip of the iceberg

    • They won’t talk, can’t identify what’s “wrong”, tears, withdrawal, aggression/defiance/anger, shut us out

    • Grades/friends/activities

    • Bad after school special

  • Under the surface

    • Hopelessness/fear/not know what or how they are feeling

    • Feelings of disconnection

    • Out of control

    • Anxiety/depression

The range….

  • Not all or nothing

  • Grey areas

  • Our own beliefs about mental health

    • My experience, looking back I was afraid to call it what it was because it made it true

    • My upbringing of not using things (family drama) as a “crutch” messaging

Enmeshment/codependency

  • I am going to get really vulnerable and highlight something that I see showing up because of the dynamics that are currently alive in my family

  • My experience with needing approval – give me the gold star, tell me how great I am

  • Wanting it from my family, especially my dad and step mom

  • Now noticing that I am searching for it from my daughter

  • NO BUENO

Getting spiritual

  • Carolyn Myss

  • My experience of energy work in the context of my relationship with Rowan

  • Life happens for us, so…. This is an experience that is happening for me? For Rowie? 

Acknowledging my controlling tendencies and the message it sends

Letting go/backing off

Having a plan (with school) about what I will and won’t do with a request

Treatment

  • Counseling, naturopath, energy work – this is what WE are doing

  • You do you. Make choices for your kids.

  • Listen to your kids. Listen deeply. Hear without fixing

  • Ask permission

  • Give them space and trust they will come to you

  • Don’t be afraid to go big if things feel really off

  • Ask hard questions

  • GET SUPPORT

  • TALK TO EACH OTHER

  • Quit dismissing teens by saying “everyone feels that way” because even if it’s true this is not what they need to hear – they NEED to feel seen and heard

  • Check your expectations at the door, accept that this is a part of your parenting story

  • Take care of yourself

  • Check your codependency

  • GET HELP – if your gut tells you that what is happening with your child is extreme, seek help.

I say this to you and to myself. We will get to the other side of this, my friends. And only we get to decide if we get to GO through this time of our lives, or if we GROW through it.

Thank you to all of you parents of teens, those of you who are personal friends who have been brave enough to be in conversation with me, clients, listeners – you are not alone.

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Eps 84: Oh Crap Potty Trainer, Jamie Glowacki

Today’s guest is Jamie Glowacki, a social worker who worked with dual diagnosis moms, transitioned to owning a children’s store and then became a potty trainer. We are discussing potty training. Join us!

“I don’t really have a method. You have to take off the diapers.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The elimination communication movement

  • Timing of potty training readiness

  • “Pull-ups” and potty training – mixing old and new behaviors.

  • Potty training and instant gratification – the role of patience in the process

  • The myths of potty training

  • Gender and potty training

  • The role of social learning and praise

  • Potty location and using the tool for the task

  • The influence of Dr. Spock and the history of potty training

  • Developmental milestones – should they be child-led?

  • The myth of “readiness” - potty training as a skill that needs to be attended to rather than something that happens naturally in time without intervention

  • The “magic window” of potty training – prior to individuation

  • Potty training as a power struggle

  • “Fear of release” – how to overcome it

  • Managing expectations around developmental milestones and the danger of comparison

  • How potty training challenges vary based on the age of the child

  • Performance anxiety and potty training

  • The best potty and ergonomic angle for potty training specifically for encouraging poop

  • How to modify your potty or reposition your child to improve poop likelihood

  • Rewards and consequences – their role in potty training

  • Potty training power struggles as relationship challenges

  • Potty training regressions – change in routines, the honeymoon period

  • Using blocks of learning to solve regressions

  • “Baby love” as a tool to help kids adjust to new siblings

  • Location specific potty training challenges – how to unpack them

  • Night time training strategies

  • Developmental phases of bladder development

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage is a reminder we have to be courageous as parents, we have to be so brave and we have to be constantly evaluating ourselves. The joyful just reminds me to keep it light. This is all just so great. Even in our worst potty training nightmare it’s still so great. Keep our courage light!

 

Resources:

Squatty potty unicorn ice cream video

Is Night Training Really Necessary – blog post

Oh Crap Potty Training Book

Oh Crap Potty Training video conferences

 

 Where to find Jamie:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

 

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March GIVEAWAY!

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Simply by posting a podcast link, and tagging me (Casey O'Roarty) or Joyful Courage, you are entered to win!!  This month I am giving away a spot in the Living Joyful Courage Membership program - WOOHOO!!  AND, you can enter as many times as you WANT! Yes!

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Eps 39: Nicole Schwarz, Supporting our Children's Negative Self Talk

Welcome! Today’s guest is Nicole Schwarz, who wrote an article recently that caught my attention. Her blog is www.imperfectfamilies.com, and the article was about Helping Kids Deal with Negative Self-Talk. Nicole is the mother of three daughters, and is a parent coach with a license in family therapy. She now devotes her work to online coaching and writing her blog. She loves working with families on positive, respectful parenting techniques.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The two things in kids’ lives that bring the most negative self-doubt

  • How two kids can be doing the same thing, but one will have negative self-doubt and one will be fine

  • How you may think you are supporting your kids in their negative self-doubt, but you may be doing THREE KEY THINGS wrong!

  • All parents face the question of how much to push them and how much to support them.

  • Nicole has tips to help you connect with your kids in moments of frustration; the key is to find ways to connect with them.

  • As a parent, you have opportunities to help your kids through their negative self-doubt; the key is to help them with important life skills.

Links and Resources:

Connect with Nicole: Website Facebook | Twitter

The blog post that started it all... How to Respond to Your Child's Negative Self Talk

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