Eps 154: Dr. Dan Siegel Discussing the Science of Being Present

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Today’s guest is Doctor Dan Siegel. Dan is a clinical professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA school of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Centre at UCLA. He is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute which focuses on the development of Mindsight, teaches insight, empathy and integration in individuals, families and communities. Dr. Siegel has published extensively for the professional and lay audiences. We are discussing his new book: Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence. Join us!

"The most important gift we can give our kids is showing up with our mental presence, not just physically being present but to have the state of awareness and open to who they actually are."

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"Presence is a state of perceptive awareness."

"Information is transformation."

"You have the ability to cultivate the presence of mind through these very simple and accessible practices that are going to bring health to your body, slow the aging process, reduce stress, all these positive things and the same exact process, developing your hub of your wheel of awareness, presence, can actually deeply enrich the way your child is soaking in his or her relationship with you and developing this experience of being seen, of being soothed, of being safe, of being secure that research shows is exactly what your child needs to optimize how they go out into life, and that's something you're empowered to create."

What you’ll hear in this episode:

-The wheel of awareness: what it is and how it helps  
-How awareness impacts your body and health  
-How being present impacts the speed of the aging process
-Wellbeing and how it is enhanced by being present
-Relationships with your kids and how being present improves it
-Cultivating awareness
-Role modeling resilience
-How awareness feeds connection vs control
-Impacts of a lack of structure on the brain and future of children
-Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting
-Why we need the village and how that creates stress for contemporary parents
-Finding joy, tranquility and connection through expanding awareness
-Flipping our lid, learning from our body's signals and how awareness can help
-Monitoring and modifying for self-regulation and to improve responses to stress
-The 3 O's what they mean

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage, to me, means having the presence of mind to dive into this receptive state of awareness, this hub of the wheel, to tap into the power of being connected with whatever arises inside of you, this kind of "bring it on" attitude, that's the courage. And the joy that arises as you liberate yourself from what a lot of us get imprisoned by which is "I have to control everything" instead, with presence, you let things emerge within you and then you let integration, connecting with your child, for example, in ways that are filled with love and connection that is honoring who your child is, honoring yourself too, but then linking together with compassionate, close relationships. That's what I think joyful courage and courageous joy is all about.

Resources:

Mind, A Journey To The Heart of Being Human
Brainstorm, The Power and purpose of the teenage brain
The Whole Brain Child
No Drama Discipline
The Yes Brain
Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence
The Telomere Effect by Elizabeth Blackburn

Where to find Dr. Siegel:

Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | Instagram | LinkedIn

Website
Mindsight Institute
UCLA Mindful Research Centre

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Mother’s Journey  Home to Herself
Overland Park, KS

Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together – so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day.

A Mother’s Journey Home to Herself is an invitation for deep personal inquiry, while practicing tools for deepening relationship with ourselves and our family, resulting in more cooperation and ease and joy during this exceptionally time of our lives.

EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH the end of August!

Find out more and regiter now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mjweekend/

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Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Eps 140: Documentary Filmmaker, Delaney Ruston, is on Talking About Screens and Our Kids

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Today’s guest is Delaney Ruston, a documentary filmmaker. She believes in helping kids find balance in our tech filled world. She loves engaging audiences in solution centered discussions. We are discussing her work making the film Screenagers and how to support our kids with finding balance. Join us!

“Just start with one simple change that you want to make and the real growth is when you talk about that with your kids and you show them your journey in trying to make that change.”

“Maybe just pick one thing that you could decide to do that you’re not using tech as you normally would.”

“The key, the most absolute important thing about it is starting with something positive about technology.”

“The brain has a really hard time holding two opposite truths at the same time and it’s particularly hard for kids and teens.”  

“To find sustainable solutions for tech balance and the child and teen brain we’re going to have to work together.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

·        The neuroscience of technology use and over-use

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·       The individual child and technology use - micro impacts vs metadata

·       Setting attainable goals for technology use reduction

·       The power of changing just one thing

·       Recognizing the difficulty of cognitive dissonance in conversations about technology

·       Reducing defensiveness in technology conversations

·       Why 30% of families are struggling with daily fights about technology

·       What studies say about parent device use

·       Distracted parenting and interactions with our kids

·       Learning new skills: how this changes as kids grow

·       Self-regulation and parenting involvement in creating limits

·       Setting aside screen free time as a family

·       Technology and sleep - setting boundaries for wellness

·       Guidelines for young kids to set the stage for later technology use

·       Sleep time, Study time and Family time - technology boundaries

·       Digital etiquette ideas

·       When you’ve given up and need to reign things in

·       Taking stock of how we use our time

·       How to bring Screenagers into your community

·       School policies: prevalence of device use in middle and high schools

·       Impact of device use on academics in middle and high schools

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think life as a learning adventure is why we are on this planet and any time we can change any situation into a learning mentality it saves the day 100% So, we can only put ourselves in those situations when we have the courage to try something new and to know that when we change our mindset to realize, “Hey, what did I learn from that situation?” That’s where the real joy comes from.     

Resources:

Tech Talk Tuesdays

Where to find Delaney:

Screenagersmovie.com l Delaneyruston.com

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Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN

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Welcome, thank you for showing up! 

Tina Bryson is BACK ON the podcast today!!  You all remember Tina from Eps 100 – which happens to be THE most downloaded show to date of this podcast.

Tina co-authored two of MY fave parenting books, the whole brain child and no drama discipline with Dan Siegel and she is BACK on the podcast today to talk about her NEW book, the yes brain.

I am THRILLED she is back on….

Content:

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  • The Yes Brain is available NOW

  • Tina is a mama to 17, 14, and 11 year boys

  • Yes brain and no brain approaches

    • A “yes brain” is a mindset of saying yes to the world, open – neurological state, our brain is integrated and linked up… Over time it becomes hardwired

    • A “no brain” is fearful, reactive

  • Prompted by “what are the skills my child needs to be successful?” – Tina and Dan Siegel wanted to go beyond academics and gold stars

    • They need an integrated brain that has a strong/functioning prefrontal cortex

  • Yes Brain has 4 Components:

    • Balance

    • Resilience

    • Insight

    • Empathy

  • Developmental brain/age/temperament matters

  • Tina shares a story about her own son who seemed to be lacking empathy at a young age

  • Brain develops through experience - What we emphasize (as parents) in our interactions create new linking connection in the brain.

  • Use books, shows, and real world experiences to model and draw forth empathy in our kids

  • Trust development, trust that what you are doing will pay off

  • Supporting our children in feeling their feelings – support them as they practice tolerating difficult feelings

  • Normalize difficult feelings…

  • 2-3 tools to put into practice:

    • Sleep!!!

      • When we sleep the brain LITERALLY freshens up

    • Survive emotional dysregulation

      • When kids are at their worst is when they need us the most

      • Co-regulaton – a soothing presence to communicate “you’re safe, I’m here”

      • Build/teach skills to help them regulate themselves – GREEN ZONE

      • Check out Eps 100 to hear Tina dig deeper into this

      • Teach them to understand themselves

    • Rethinking success

      • Our children having an authentic self that they can trust

      • It’s about the journey and not JUST the destination

      • BIGGER than gold stars and academics

    • Eudaimonia – happiness comes from meaning, connection and peaceful contentment

Tinabryson.com

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Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 104: Kristin Hovious is on talking about making amends and repairing relationships

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Kristin Hovious is a committed teacher with over a decade of experience in vocational, adult education, serving Chicago’s Cortiva Institute as both Education Director (2007-2008) and Adjunct Faculty Member (2006-2017.)  Her training as a massage therapist and yoga teacher provides a foundation and love for anatomy and science of human development.

As a Positive Discipline Certified Trainer, Kristin, combines a career of teaching and serving with her passion for creating mutually respectful environments for families, children, classrooms and schools. In her collaboration with teachers, administrations and families, Kristin’s goal is to help facilitate opportunities for adults and students to become compassionate leaders, with the hope that doing so will help build more peaceful communities. Kristin has served on the Positive Discipline Association Board of Directors as a Consultant since 2016.

What you will hear in this episode:

  • Kristin’s journey into Positive Discipline (PD)

  • How PD grew in the Hovious’ Home and the challenges that came with learning a new way

  • How teaching anatomy in her career paved the way for curiosity in neuroscience

  • Understanding how emotions and behaviors influence connection

  • Discussion on ‘kind and firm’ rephrasing as ‘connection and accountability’ and why

  • Why shifting society’s idea of mistakes and punishments lacks ability to repair

  • Understanding mistakes as opportunities to learn

  • How repairing is a practice and it has the power to transform our relationships

  • Mistakes lead to repairing opportunities

  • Kristin walks us through four steps in healthy repair

  • Relatable examples from Kristin’s own life help us empathize and feel supported in our own challenges

  • Modeling is key

  • Sticking to our agendas is a way we move away from connection

  • When we repair relationships we have the power to heal connections

  • Diving into our parenting pain so we can make amends

  • Discomfort is a place to get curious, not a place to get stuck

 “I don’t think repairing relationships comes naturally or easy to us. It is practice”.

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

What Joyful courage means to me is that there is a consistent opportunity to practice repair.  That is always worth it - it’s so important in the whole trajectory in our lives together as human beings.  If we can be joyful in repair then maybe we can also turn the corner and be joyful about mistakes”.

Where to find Kristin:

Selchicago.com


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Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage

PNW FALL TOUR!!

I am so so SO happy and excited to get to share ALL the details about this amazing workshop! Registration is now open for my Bellingham, Seattle and Portland events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.

www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

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Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 100: Dr. Tina Bryson Supports Us With Brain Informed Parenting

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of two New York Times bestsellers:  The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline.  She is the Executive Director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, CA and a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist.  She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world.  Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology.  You can learn more about her at TinaBryson.com, where you can subscribe to her blog and read her articles about kids and parenting.

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  • How Dr. Dan Siegal and Tina collaborated on THE WHOLE-BRAINED CHILD

  • How science can help guide parents in really profound ways

  • Programs, communities and in which Dr. Bryson’s work is taught

  • The importance of HOW are parent shows up to the nervous system of a developing child

  • How getting CURIOUS with your child creates gateways into building important life skills and self regulation

  • How making ASSUMPTIONS delays or stops tool building; ie, taking behavior personal, over explaining behavior, making character assumptions, if they did it once they should be able to consistently complete task/request

  • Paying attention to a developing nervous system

  • If the nervous system is not regulated the child cannot have choice over behavior

  • How to influence the nervous system in both self and child

  • Identification of Dr. Bryson and Dr. Siegals emotional “ZONES”; Red Zone, Blue Zone, Green Zone

  • The Frontal Cortex is not developed yet

  • Children do not have the architecture to control “reptilian brain” / “fight or flight” in red or blue zones – difficulty paying attention, learning, regulating

  • Tools/techniques to get in “green zone” – regulated, calm, empathetic, attune

  • Behavior is communicating child’s lack of skills

  • When to seek out professional help

  • Self regulation – be gentle and kind with ourselves (reference Kristin Neff, of self-compassion.org)

  • New techniques require time and PRACTICE

  • Calming strategy when child is disregulated- get BELOW eye level and use soothing words including “I’m right here with you”

  • Brain associates with physical state – floppy noodle technique

  • Body shift can help shift emotions

  • How discipline is teaching

  • We need to give children tools not take them away

  • Thoughts on consequences

  • Key actions of soothing, connection, problem-solving, playfulness and being pro-active build a “whole-brained” child

  • How to recognize our own “zones” and practice getting/staying into “green zone”

What does Joyful Courage mean to me?

“Joyful Courage to me means having the courage to reflect on our own areas of growth and also having the courage to trust development to unfold. Trusting that we are doing a good enough job.”

Where to find Dr. Tina Bryson:

tinabryson.com – infinite resources to put into practice!
Facebook l Twitter

What to watch for:

New books by Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
The YES Brain -  January 2018
Showing Up – TBD 

Info from the Show:

Lantern Camps
Kristin Neff, of self-compassion.org
Camp Chippewa  http://campchippewa.com/

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Eps 75: Marcilie Smith Boyle Shares Research and Brain Science Behind Positive Discipline

Today’s guest is Marcilie Smith Boyle, a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer and Certified Life and Leadership Coach who teaches Positive Discipline courses live and online, coaches individuals and groups on transitions and parenting, as well as life coaching and executive leadership coaching. We are discussing the science and research of Positive Discipline. Join us!

“ The tip of the iceberg is what you can see – that’s your child’s behavior, but underneath the surface so much more is going on.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

•    Emerging neuro-scientific research about social psychology informed by function MRIs and PET scans.
•     Principles of Positive Discipline – looking underneath behavior to build skills for long term better behavior.
•    Adlerian theory, the foundation of Positive Discipline
•    The connection between behavior and a sense of belonging
•    How mutual respect informs better behavior
•    The right to dignity and the value of solutions relative to rewards and punishments
•    Intrinsic motivation, what it is and why it matters long term.
•    The social nature of humans and how that relates to theories of the hierarchy of needs
•    The link between physical and social pain and the connection between learning and belonging
•    The impact of fight or flight on empathy, learning and problem solving skills
•    Relatedness, competence and autonomy and the way they influence behavior and feed intrinsic motivation
•    The positive outcomes of met psychological needs in relation to health, creativity, persistence, flexibility, adjustment, well-being, enjoyment, cooperation, engagement and interest.
•    Why rewards and praise sometimes backfire: the relationship between contingent rewards, autonomy and behavior
•    Baby steps to deepen your positive parenting practice
•   The difference made when we get eye to eye with our kids

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Courage is about being brave, about feeling some fear but doing it anyways. That takes determination and focus. Courage has a feeling of seriousness. When you add Joyful to it, it adds some fun and lightness. Joyful Courage is about being courageous in a fun way. It’s a choice about how you want to practice your bravery.

Resources:

Positive Discipline
Social by Matthew Lieberman
Hidden Costs of Reward – Mark R. Lepper
 

Upcoming Offers from Marcilie:
February 8th:: 6 Obstacles to Peaceful, Positive Parenting – Free tele-class
Starting March 1st: Peaceful Parents, Cooperative Kids Interactive Virtual Workshop Series – 8 week series 

Where to find Marcilie:

Website l Facebook l Twitter

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Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::::::::

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!