Eps 174: Learning to be a more mindful communicator with Oren Jay Sofer

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Today’s guest is Oren Jay Sofer, the author of Say What You Mean - A Mindful Approach to Non-Violent Communication. He leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication at meditation centres and education settings around the US. Oren is a graduate of the IMS Spirit Rock teacher training program. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University, teaches in the Insight Meditation community and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and a certified trainer of non-violent communication. Oren creates mindfulness training programs for a number of organizations including Mindful Schools, Kaiser Permanente, and 10% Happier. He lives in Richmond, California. Join us!

 

"If we can’t actually listen to each other and have a meaningful conversation when we disagree, it’s impossible to work together to address the challenges that we’re facing”

 

“We can’t wait for the opportunities where presence is needed to practice presence.”

 

“Even when we can't meet our child's needs we can help them to know and recognize that their needs matter to us.”

 

“Our feelings are a reflection of our needs.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

·       Being in response vs reaction

·       Communication as a way of navigating conflict mindfully

·       3 foundations for successful conversations and effective communication

·       The role of presence in communication

·       The ambient stress of raising a child

·       Owning our responses in times of stress

·       Exercising self-compassion in relation to parenting-related stress

·       Integrating moments of awareness into your day

·       Creating daily rituals into mindfulness

·       Mindfulness as a way to mitigate cumulative stress

·       Mindfulness as a way to be present in our relationships

·       Mindfulness as awareness and a way to raise our baseline kindness and presence

·       Preparing for parenting with mindfulness through practicing

·       Practice as a way of creating a new way of being

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·       Creating awareness of the impact of our actions on others

·       Discussing our needs instead of blame

·       Being realistic about our ability to meet all of our child’s needs

·       Intention in communication and mindfulness

·       Approaching communication from a place of curiosity and care

·        Curiosity as a way of being

·       The need for intention to be genuine

·       Feelings of a reflection of needs

·       Increasing emotional literacy to enhance communication

·       Helping children to problem solve as an alternative to “consequences”

·       Connecting before correcting

·       Conflict as an opportunity for learning

·       Where to start when you realize you need to improve your communication

·       Learning to pause, be curious and consider the needs of others

·       Connection through perspective shift

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

So I think what joyful courage means to me is it's rooted in the recognition that the places that we struggle, the places that we're scared of the places that we feel pain actually hold the precious gift of our own freedom and when we recognize that having the courage to turn towards those places and to actually include them in our life and learn from them becomes a process that's joyful because we know why we're doing it. It's not just about “I've got to trudge through this” but we've experienced to some degree and have a deep faith that there's there's actually a gift waiting for me on the other side.

 

Resources:

Say What You Mean book

Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Text “guided” 44222 to sign up for a short ebook and free guided meditation series

 

Where to find Oren:

Website

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Youtube

           

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The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

 

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

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Eps 159: Solo show exploring the power and messiness of Positive Discipline

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  • Belong significance

  • Iceberg

  • Encouragement

  • Kind and firm

  • Presence/seeing/listening

 What I have learned over time

  • My own beliefs get in the way

  • Fear manifests as control and rigidity

  • Trust is the theme of my life

What it means to have a practice

  • Taking care of me

  • Exploring worthiness

  • Developing intention

  • Modeling what I want

  • Returning to the basics

  • Check assumptions

  • Read and learn about development!

    • What speaks to you???

    • So many people and programs…. What/who makes sense to you? Where do you feel seen?

Things to keep in mind

  • There is no perfect

  • Spirituality/energetics matter – this is bigger than me

  • Its messy, not formulaic

  • Blame serves no one

  • There is no end point

  • Finding a sense of peace inside of the chaos is life goals

  • Comparing is not useful – ever

You are the parent your child picked, not because you are perfect, but because you are you. Parenting is an opportunity to heal old wounds, to mend relationships, and grow as an individual, if you let it be

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Joyful Courage Academy

Participants will gain confidence and clarity, as well as practical tools for navigating the parenting journey with love, connection and presence through deepening their understanding of Positive Discipline.

The power and momentum of learning inside of a like-minded community, a safe space where you can stretch, share authentically, and show up vulnerably is hard to quantify. The Joyful Courage Academy was created to be that place for you. It is a deep dive into the work of becoming ever more conscious and intentional as you bump up against the challenges of raising your kids.

Sign up now – www.joyfulcourage.com/academy

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50% off all the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 146: Solo Show - Supporting the Village

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial gift to the show :) 

Solo show:

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  • Here we are – a new week, another school shooting

  • Expanding from the family unit and into the community

  • Choices we have when we see people who need help

  • We are all in this together – in this life

  • It takes a village and we have to look out for each other

  • All kids deserve advocates, not just our kids

  • What can I do to support connection, feeling felt, feeling understood, inside of my community?

  • Political conflict in the family…. My story and how my brother saved the day

  • Conscious parenting is really conscious living

  • Understanding is not the same as accepting or valuing what others value

  • Belonging and significance matters for children AND adults

  • Listening to understand

  • We get to look out for each other

  • “I see you”

  • Declaring to inquire about mentorship at the local HS

  • What is the action you will take?

Resources mentioned:

Eps 133 – Politics and Parenting  

Take the Next Step – Community resource organization

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH June 15th!

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 109: Learning How to be a More Conscious Parent by Tuning in to Our Body

Parenting from within takes practice practice practice. What are the significant tools we need to really delve within? Inside of us exists what we need to connect to the way we want to parent.  Using these tools at our disposal will allow us to open up, connect, reset and navigate the challenges that come with development. Just like we are in constant practice it’s key to continue the conversation! Our children are not the only humans in development.

 What you will hear

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  • The emotional journey of choosing Positive Parenting

  • Is your inner voice helping or hindering your practice

  • Our old stories can create blocks when we practice PD

  • What shows up when our children touch on those old stories (triggers)

  • How we talk to ourselves when it seems everyone around us has it together

  • Where do we chose to sit when we are in anger, resentment and “stuckness”

  • Why are you choosing PD and/or Conscious Parenting?

  • What are the themes that drive us to want to parent this way?

  • What themes to we use to keep us on a pendulum

  • Once we choose into the practice we can create habits that navigate through these themes and stories

  • Awareness is the first step to helping us acknowledge the triggers so we can create a connection into this parenting journey

  • This is a collective journey

  • Mindfulness with ground us into the practice and what we need

  • Using mindfulness will bring you into your biggest tool- your body, senses, feelings and emotions

  • Listening to your body is accepting the messages and signals you are sending to your conscious

  • What do you notice in challenging situations?

  • Where do your signals sit? Belly? Shoulders? Chest?

  • Follow the wisdom your body is sending.

  • Fears cloud our vision and takes us into the “what ifs”

  • Getting curious allows us to approach our children without getting stuck in the fog

  • How to use the neutrality of your body to shift into a better experience

  • Shifting can open us up the possibility that we are the best parent for our kids and we can make repairs

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Podcast Highlight:

In Her Voice, By Kelly Covers

website l itunes l FB l IG

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Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage

PNW FALL TOUR!!

I am so so SO happy and excited to get to share ALL the details about this amazing workshop! Registration is now open for my Bellingham, Seattle, Portland AND BOISE events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.

www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

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Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!