Eps 170: Exploring the Energy of Emotion with Sara Harvey Yao

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Today’s guest is Sara Harvey Yao. Sara is a leadership consultant who has developed more than 4,000 leaders across the globe. She specializes in helping leaders navigate pressure and stress by staying present in the moment. Sara is the author of two books, Get Present and Drop In. She’s the mother of two teen boys and can speak firsthand to how the power of presence can transform the parenting experience. We will be discussing. Join us!

 

"Naming feelings opens the doorways for the energy of emotion to metabolize.”

“When we’re in emotion, we’re in a different part of our brain than the language center so it’s often hard to articulate what we’re feeling.”

“Anger...is a signal fire. Something is going on here. It’s a sign your boundaries have been crossed.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

-How naming emotions helps us process them

-Facilitating our movement through emotions in the parenting journey

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-The power of acknowledging, even to ourselves, when we are struggling

-Feeling vs thinking

-Attitudes and beliefs about feelings that contribute to feeling “stuck”

-Helping our kids name and process feelings and the role of modeling

-Normalizing emotions for our kids

-Anger as a secondary emotion

-What’s really under anger

-Exploring our triggers and where our feelings are coming from

-Establishing a common language with your kids to discuss feelings

-How to support ourselves and our kids to regulate emotions

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

The courage to try something new and if that’s new to, I’m going to try a new parenting technique, if that means I’m going to sit with a feeling instead of stuffing it, I’m actually going to say something instead of not saying something, any new behavior to me takes deep, deep, deep courage and when we take those leaps into courage, for me it always ends up being really joyful. There’s such an empowered, a sense of empowerment and it leads to new opportunities or new directions that I might not have known about if I hadn’t been courageous. So those two words fit so beautifully together, it’s just joyful courageousness when we try something new.

Resources:

Get Present

Drop In

Dan Siegel, Flipping Your Lid

Listen to past show with Sara: Episode 68

Listen to Mindfulness Min Summit 

Where to find Sara:

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn

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Eps 123: Solo Show - Navigating Big Emotions From Grownups and Kids

SOLO SHOW

Context – we all have the power and the skills to be the parent we want to be 

A recent post from the Live and Love with Joyful Courage community:

Can we talk about sharing our big feelings with our kids?

My kids are 2.5 and 4.5yo, and I don't know how to share my big feelings in front of them without freaking them out. I want to be able to be my full and authentic self with them, in an age appropriate way. And I realize, the fact that they are upset when I am upset means that they are afraid of my big feelings and may be afraid of their own big feelings. We try to welcome their big feelings (tantrums, disappointment, etc.) but I think we do a miserable job at it.

Compounding this, I am someone with explosive emotions. I tend to feel things very deeply and it takes me time to calm down. I have worked hard to make sure I don't express those emotions in a negative or scary way. But instead I most often bottle them up, which isn't good either.

Celebrating awareness. Celebrating emotional intelligence. Celebrating authenticity. Celebrating personal responsibility.

Misconceptions (in general):

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  • not ok for our children to see us upset

  • not ok for our children to FEEL upset

    • they’re being naughty

    • they’re manipulating

    • they’re learning “bad behavior”

  • welcoming big feelings is the same as condoning hurtful behavior

This is a POWERFUL example of what I think is the PURPOSE of parenting:

  • to grow into our best selves

Children are mirrors

  • not mimics

  • instead, provide a reflection of how we effect the world, what our impact is, what we are inviting

Children/parenting journey is an invitation

  • recognizing conditioning

  • recognizing what our “driver” is

  • recognize commitment vs attachment

    • Committed to being a connected parent vs attachment to what that looks like (slippery, perfectionism, comparison)

Children/parenting journey is unrelenting

  • The lessons come every day, moment to moment

  • The growth is like peeling an onion

  • There is no where to ARRIVE

Child/parenting journey is an opportunity to grow

  • I can’t say this enough

  • Where are your hard edges?

  • Where is there room for self growth?

  • Where can flexibility show up inside of rigidity

    • “I am someone with explosive emotions.”

    • We are ALWAYS evolving

      • What can we learn about ourselves?

      • What can we practice that will be more helpful and less hurtful?

      • How can we deliver our experiences and be heard?

      • How can we create a PRACTICE that honors us and our experience while also models the life skills we want our children to one day embody?

        • Practices are UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL

        • The myth of “balance”

        • Assumptions about our “roles”

Taking care of ourselves and our own self-regulation, in the end, will do more to teach our children and influence their behavior than any tool you can find in a book or the internet.

You’ve got this!

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On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

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Eps 98: Kerry Foreman is on Supporting us in What it Means to be Grounded

Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern.  Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life.

 

Living Joyful Courage Membership Program

REGISTRATION OPENS SATURDAY!
Woohhooo --- so happy to be opening the doors again to the membership program!  Now is the time – join us!

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What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes

  • Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond

  • Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate?

  • Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change?

  • Learning to respond instead if react

  • Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience

  • Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being

  • Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships

  • How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us?

  • Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety

  • What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds?

  • Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language

  • Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of.

What does Joyful Courage mean to me?

“Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.”

Where to find Kerry:

YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG

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“Being a part of the Living Joyful Courage Membership Program has encouraged me to continue practicing to be parent and person that I want to be. I choose my experience to situations. There's no easy answer to fix my kids behavior… It is more about how I be with my kids that creates a good experience versus what I do to make them listen to me.

Since starting this practice I feel stronger connection with my kinds, I feel a shift in myself,  and I believe I am the perfect mom for my kids…

Other should consider program because the parenting journey is not easy, and it's an ongoing practice. The support and information Casey provides, with emails, webinars, and coaching calls is so beneficial, and she provides it in a way that is easy to understand and put directly in the practice I have also found there is so much value in a tribe of parents sharing experiences, willing to listen, and offering encouragement and it reminds me that I am not alone on this journey.”

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Eps 65: Raising Boys with Tosha Schore

"I WANT TO SUPPORT YOUR EFFORTS IN ANY WAY I CAN. YOUR WORK ETHIC, SUPPORT, AND KNOWLEDGE ARE IMPRESSIVE AND AN INTEGRAL PART OF OF MY LIFE AS A PARENT AND PERSON RIGHT NOW."

IF THE PODCAST MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE, IF IT IS SOMETHING YOU LOOK FORWARD TO EACH WEEK, CONSIDER BECOME A PATRON! 
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Today’s guest is Tosha Schore, known online as “Your Partner in Parenting Boys” and a mom of 3 boys. She partners with parents to help their boys thrive – teaching parents to practice self care, connect with their boys deeply to encourage open communication, coaching them to set limits in a loving way and to use play strategically in their parenting. Join us!

“My mission is to make a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.”

 “Parenting is difficult because to do it well you must look inside yourself; you need to know what makes you sore and what really pushes your buttons. Looking at oneself, really looking inside is a challenge, the thing is, the consequence of not looking at oneself is even worse.”

“If we want to guide our children well, we have to first look at our own stories.”

What you’ll hear in this episode: 

  • The value of getting ourselves into “good parenting shape” and listening to each other non-judgmentally to ease frustration

  • The importance of boys being able to feel their feelings and avoid the “boiling pot” – embracing the body’s natural way to heal from our hurts

  • What keeps parents from feeling like it’s ok for their boys to feel their feelings?

  • Learning to be unattached to your child’s reactions to limits

  • The impact of isolation on the parenting experience

  • Stereotypes of masculinity and how they impact emotional intimacy

  • How to transition your boys from exhibiting aggressive behaviors to being more calm and increasing accountability by reducing fear

  • The importance of not losing sight of your boy’s goodness despite poor behavior

  • Working towards discipline from a place of connection

  • The value of being curious about what’s underneath anger

  • How to parenting in a way that honors the developing brain

  • Addressing off-track behaviors through connection and taking a proactive approach

  • Helping kids handle the pressure to save face

  • Techniques to address separation anxiety

  • How to set healthy limits in a loving way while creating safe spaces for exploration

  • Supporting boys through loudness and recognizing it for what it is

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“Working in this life for what you feel is important – being you. Courage means being me and supporting my children and the people I know to be them fully. There’s nothing more joyful than being real and full and who you are and the gift you have to give.”

Resources:

Positive Discipline – Jane Nelsen

Listen – 5 simple tools to meet your everyday parenting challenges – Tosha Schore & Patty Wipfler

 Where to find Tosha:

Facebook
Twitter
Her website

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Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!