Eps 177: Casey is solo talking about how we influence the iceberg

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  • Battles over homework

  • Power struggles

  • Screen time addiction

  • Getting out the door

    • We are mega focused on fixing those problems

The iceberg- behavior we see is a solution to a problem that we may or may not know about

Example that we played with a few weeks ago in parenting class:

Child won’t get ready to go in the morning and family is late getting out the door

  • Two options for response:

    • What do I have to do to this kid to get her to cooperate?

      • Bribes, threats, punishments

    • What is happening for this child that is getting in the way?

 Go to the source

  • Tell me about the mornings…. I notice that…. How are you feeling…..

  • With new information you can make a plan together to support the child (and you)n in doing better

Transparency

  • Rowan talking about the future

    • Agitated, closed off, defensive

    • Often my response is irritated that she cant “have” the convo

    • We both are discouraged and the convo is over

  • Maybe I am engaging the wrong conversation

    • Helpful to know what shows up for her when the invitation is to talk about future

    • What is the experience?

    • IS it only with me or others?

    • Might there be a benefit to talking with someone else if not me?

    • What would be useful about having a vision of the future?

      • Deeper even still

      • I notice when this is the conversation you….. I am curious about that? How does it feel when…..?

 Sometimes our kids refuse to go there….

  • How do we let go?

  • What do they need?

  • Recognizing/acknowledging our tendency to hold on/get rigid/ let fear or our agenda drive us….

  • Mutual respect – respect for child and for self and the situation

  • Honor who they are and their temperament

    • I am ALL IN, lets go deep and swirl around and grow and learn and be super transparent and get it all out – don’t hold back. I process out loud and in the moment…. This is not the way of everyone, def not my daughter.

 Summing it up:

  • Recognize how we are contributing to challenges

  • Own it, and get curious about your child’s experience.

  • Identify the ACTUAL problem

  • Be an open, nonjudgmental listener

  • Look for solutions (related respectful reasonable helpful)

  • Be respectful

  • Honor who you child is in word and action

Before I go….

I have a really exciting update on my BOOK!!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

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Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

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CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 144: Solo Show - is Positive Discipline permissive? No.

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SOLO SHOW!!

Teacher posted about a difficult class…

Response about “parenting style” naming “gentle parenting” and followed up with a post about “helicopter parenting, mom and dad are friends, no discipline or consequences….” 

Lets talk about this:

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  • The swing from authoritarian to permissive

  • What is kind and firm

  • Authoritative – structure and freedom

  • The most important tool we have for influencing behavior is the relationship we build with our children – that is what this week in the Academy is all about.

  • No boundaries/limits – not a solid relationship

  • No voice/ freedom – not a solid relationship

  • Mutual respect?

  • Problem solving?

  • Dignity in tact? – Dignity, the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

Helicopter/lawn mower/permissive parenting ROBs children of the discomfort of learning from their mistakes. It robs them of the opportunity of making things right and fixing their mistakes. Robs them of the opportunity for problem solving, accountability, ownership.

Authoritarian parenting ALSO robs kids of opportunity. When we parent from a place that threatens punishment for making mistakes, kids no longer have the luxury of learning how to really think through the decision making process, instead, they learn the “better not do it cuz I don’t want to get into trouble” or “better not get caught”

Authoritarian parenting can often lead to a lack of respect in the relationship.

Guidelines and boundaries INSIDE OF a solid, respectful relationship will increase the likelihood of cooperative, contributing children.

KIND AND FIRM – listen to your body, are you in alignment with your values and what the kid need. There is WISDOM IN THE BODY, PAY ATTENTION. 

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$1, $5, $10 a month - be in contribution and give back to the show that gives you so much!!

www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

EALY EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH MAY 15TH!

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 134: Featuring Rebecca Eanes and the Positive Parenting Movement

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Today’s guest is Rebecca Eanes, the author of two books for parents: Positive Parenting The Essential Guide and The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting. She is back to talk to us about her newest resource for parents: The Positive Parenting Workbook. Rebecca leads a community of over a million on her Facebook page, Positive Parenting Toddlers and Beyond.  Join us!

 “I see and speak about parenting as a journey… and the journey is a continuous invitation to continue to practice being the parent we want to be as often as possible.”

“Parenting is one long personal development workshop.”   

“My kids are the best mirrors because in them I have seen my own negative attitudes and bad moods and emotional reactions in really every area that I needed to improve upon.”

“I think we definitely grow ourselves up in the process of helping our kids grow up.”

“Our kids are going to make mistakes every day. If they had perfect parents, they would not know how to get through this world.” 

“Be as gentle and respectful with yourself as you are trying to be with your kids. You are not perfect either and you don’t have to be. We are all growing, we are all learning, we are all flawed, and we all need grace. This is a journey and there’s not a destination yet that I’ve seen. It’s an ever going thing so be good to yourself along the way.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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  • Dealing with swearing and supporting kids in navigating different rules in different situations

  • Positive parenting and what it really means

  • The role of mutual respect in positive parenting

  • Identifying underlying issues under disrespect

  • Shifting focus: from disrespectful behavior itself to supporting learning that leads to respectful behavior.

  • Leadership in positive parenting

  • Non-negotiables and positive parenting

  • The value in personal development and parenting

  • Moving from behavior patrol to positive parenting

  • The origins of the Positive Parenting Workbook

  • Discipline as part of the parenting pie

  • 7 Pillars of family culture as part of positive parenting

  • Words of wisdom for parents working towards positive parenting

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think Joyful Courage means being brave enough to go against the grain to live true to you and confident enough to believe in yourself and to do so with joy.

Resources:

Positive Parents website
The Positive Parenting Workbook
The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting
Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide
Positive Parenting In Action 

Where to find Rebecca:

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Positive Parents website
Pinterest
Creative Child Magazine
Mother.ly

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#Joyfulcourage10

Get ready to commit to ACTION that will change everything!

#Joyfulcourage10 is a 10 day program to kickstart your work in growing awareness and bringing more intention to your parenting. Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

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Mother’s Journey 

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

 All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS 

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 89: Noha Alshugairi Shares About Teaching Positive Discipline and Being a Muslim

Today’s guest, Noha Alshugairi is a “citizen of the world,” a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in Newport Beach, California and Positive Discipline Trainer. We are discussing positive discipline in the Muslim home. Join us!

“I don’t need to be preaching what Islam says to us in order to be teaching Positive Discipline.” 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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  • Diversity within the Muslim community (80 groups, with differing faith)

  • How Muslim teachings align with Positive Discipline principles (building social interest, fostering belonging and contribution, understanding the belief behind the behavior, encouragement, mutual respect, kindness and firmness at the same time, short-term vs long-term and focus on solutions)

  • How does Islam promote mutual respect?

  • The concept of obedience as it relates to both Islam and Positive Discipline

  • Doing the best you can with the tools you have – how excellence at 3 or 4 looks difference than excellence in adolescence

  • The impacts of hanging onto childhood hurt in adulthood

  • What non-Muslims are most surprised to learn about Muslim families

  • Concerns of Muslim parents – how to protect children from Islamophobia & how to build a cultural identity they can be proud of?

  • Finding peace through focus on your circle of influence and stepping away from victimhood

  • How to broaden your understanding and support for the Muslim community

  • Connecting with larger groups as minority group members to move past stereotypes

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Having joy while you are facing life. It’s difficult because life is not smooth sailing.

Resources:

Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home

7 Habits of Highly Effective People  

Where to find Noha:

 Website – Sakina Counselling

Website – Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home

Facebookl Youtube

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Weekly FB Lives are happening!!

Join me every Tuesday at 10am pst on the Joyful Courage FB page to hear about a new Positive Discipline tool that you can begin using ASAP.  Even if you are well versed in parenting with PD, you will take a way a renewed commitment and perhaps a deeper understanding of the tool.

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Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 47: Dr. Honoring our Inner Voice with Kris Prochaska

Welcome! My guest today is Kris Prochaska, a former therapist who uses her intuition, diagnostic skills, and ability to read people’s energy. Her desire is to coach women in how to embody sacred leadership at home and at work to listen and live according to their inner voice. Kris was a 2015 TEDxBend speaker and is the author of Life Well Spoken: Free Your Inner Voice and Prosper. She is a busy mom to Anja, 7, and Eli, 11, and is happily married to—and still in love with—her hubby, Mike.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Kris began her career journey as a therapist, but tired of focusing on what’s “wrong.” She wanted to discover what’s “right”!

  • Kris approaches her coaching sessions under the premise that the client really does know best.

  • Kris discusses her TED talk experience and the responses she received to her topic: Why don’t we see our kids as equals?

  • Kris shares the irony in her TED talk in that she was not in alignment with her natural energy and truth.

  • The goal in parenting is NOT to control our kids, but to teach them to use their tools to become their very best.

  • Our kids are equally deserving of dignity and respect, but that doesn’t mean there are no limits or boundaries.

  • The parenting attitude should be, “What’s in the highest and best good for our family in the long term?”

  • We should listen to the voice of our kids and let them be a part of decision-making.

  • We’re afraid if we teach them to listen to themselves that they will run rampant.

  • The “little voices,”—do YOU hear them? They seek to make you look good, stay safe, and fit in-- -no matter what.

  • How do you tell the difference between your “little voices” and your intuition?

  • The “little voices” will make you feel small, constricted, and pressured.

  • Your true inner voice is expansive, calm, and peaceful.

  • Your energy shift can affect those around you.

What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “When we have the courage to step into that inner voice place and what we know, it takes courage to do that over and over again. The returns are infinite. That’s the blessing we give to the world.”

Resources:

www.krisprochaska.com

Find her on Facebook and Instagram: MessyMysticMama.

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Want MORE??  Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

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Click here for more information about PARENT COACHING with Casey and to book your exploratory call!

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