Eps 177: Casey is solo talking about how we influence the iceberg

  • Battles over homework

  • Power struggles

  • Screen time addiction

  • Getting out the door

    • We are mega focused on fixing those problems

The iceberg- behavior we see is a solution to a problem that we may or may not know about

Example that we played with a few weeks ago in parenting class:

Child won’t get ready to go in the morning and family is late getting out the door

  • Two options for response:

    • What do I have to do to this kid to get her to cooperate?

      • Bribes, threats, punishments

    • What is happening for this child that is getting in the way?

 Go to the source

  • Tell me about the mornings…. I notice that…. How are you feeling…..

  • With new information you can make a plan together to support the child (and you)n in doing better


  • Rowan talking about the future

    • Agitated, closed off, defensive

    • Often my response is irritated that she cant “have” the convo

    • We both are discouraged and the convo is over

  • Maybe I am engaging the wrong conversation

    • Helpful to know what shows up for her when the invitation is to talk about future

    • What is the experience?

    • IS it only with me or others?

    • Might there be a benefit to talking with someone else if not me?

    • What would be useful about having a vision of the future?

      • Deeper even still

      • I notice when this is the conversation you….. I am curious about that? How does it feel when…..?

 Sometimes our kids refuse to go there….

  • How do we let go?

  • What do they need?

  • Recognizing/acknowledging our tendency to hold on/get rigid/ let fear or our agenda drive us….

  • Mutual respect – respect for child and for self and the situation

  • Honor who they are and their temperament

    • I am ALL IN, lets go deep and swirl around and grow and learn and be super transparent and get it all out – don’t hold back. I process out loud and in the moment…. This is not the way of everyone, def not my daughter.

 Summing it up:

  • Recognize how we are contributing to challenges

  • Own it, and get curious about your child’s experience.

  • Identify the ACTUAL problem

  • Be an open, nonjudgmental listener

  • Look for solutions (related respectful reasonable helpful)

  • Be respectful

  • Honor who you child is in word and action

Before I go….

I have a really exciting update on my BOOK!!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!


Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit


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CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!


Eps 60: Sandy Blackard Helps With the WHINING

Welcome! I’m excited to introduce you to my guest today! Sandy Blackard is an award-winning author and parenting coach. As the mother of two grown daughters, Sandy reached a frantic point in her own parenting challenges that led to the passion she has for helping parents acquire tools and tips that bring SUCCESS! She’s here to share her wisdom with us, so join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • How “play therapy” set Sandy on her course

  • What does “Say what you see” really mean?

  • Listening, interacting, and retraining how you see the world

  • Name that strength

  • Acknowledgement vs. Praise

  • The transformation of a rule-breaker

  • Powerlessness vs. perceived helplessness

  • A child’s three basic needs: experience, connection, and power

  • How to negotiate power struggles

  • How to handle whining

  • Downstairs and Upstairs Brain

  • Modeling authenticity

  • Aligning the child in their greatness

  • What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Courage comes when I’m facing a challenge. It’s a reminder of what’s waiting on the other side of the challenge.”



Say What You See by Sandy Blackard

Find Sandy on Facebook and Twitter 


Be The Best Parent You Can Be

If you’ re a parent and interested in learning parenting techniques from leading experts, then you’ ll want to attend the BE THE BEST PARENT YOU CAN BE – 2016 FREE Online Event! The summit will feature 20+ of the leading experts in the field of parenting, free of charge! Sign up today and be on your way to becoming a your best self!! #bethebestparent SIGN UP HERE


Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...


Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!


Eps 58: Creating Special Time with Kelly Pfeiffer

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is a friend of mine and a fellow Positive Discipline parent educator. Kelly Pfeiffer lives in South Carolina and has raised four kids in a blended family situation. After a divorce, she remarried a man with two children, which blended their family with kids of ages 15, 15, 13, and 12. Those children are now young adults, and Kelly has been a parent educator for the last 16 years. Today’s topics include positive discipline parenting tools, focusing on our discussion of “special time,” a way to guarantee one-on-one time with each child to maintain the vital parent-child connection. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • How Kelly was introduced to Positive Discipline: “Why do parents not know this?”

  • Why having tools and a formula doesn’t guarantee an easy parenting road

  • Variables in blending families

  • The Special Time tool: how to present it to parents

  • A magical connection between parent and child

  • Kelly’s advice for Special Time:

    • Plan it and put it on the calendar

    • As much as possible, let it be child-led

    • Incorporate non-competitive games

    • Use bike rides, picnics, and other outdoor activities

    • Limit distractions (Put away your cell phone!)

    • Use bedtime routines

    • Take advantage of time with a younger child when an older one has an activity

    • Take advantage of time with an older child when a younger one needs to nap

    • Have an older child help with dinner preparation

  • How connection helps diffuse power struggles

  • Tools to repair and recover from hurts

  • Why parents need to say “I’m sorry”

  • Don’t give up when a teen is resistant

  • Ideas for saving Special Time money

  • What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Being courageous, feeling the fear, and doing it anyway---with JOY!”



Find Kelly on Facebook and Twitter (@posdisparenting)

Become a Positive Discipline Parent Educator at Kelly’s 2-day workshop in Greenville, SC, in October

Email newsletter: Find out more and sign up for these parenting tools on Kelly’s website!

Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson, Ed.D.


The Intentional Parent Project
Interested? I would love for you to join me on this 10 week journey. Click here for more information.


Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...


Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

Eps 24: Navigating Power Struggles with Debbie Zeichner

Who doesn't get into power struggles with their kids???

Listen in as Debbie Zeichner, LCSW and parent coach, and I discuss the triggers for power struggles and how to navigate them in a way that leaves your kids with MORE skills and MORE likely to cooperate.

Sound good?

Here is the 10 Tips for Managing Power Struggles handout that Debbie so generously shared.

Check out Debbie's website : www.debbiezeichnerlcsw.com
And like her facebook page: www.facebook.com/debbiezeichnerlcsw

As always, I would love for you to consider JOINING THE TRIBE to stay up to date on all the latests offerings from Joyful Courage.  Just fill out the form below -

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