Eps 166: Solo show connecting the dots between how building relationship leads us to more effective parenting

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Solo show!

News:

-       No shows in December, Happy Holidays!

-       January

  • Parenting Teens Audio Summit, YAY!!

  • Launching the first of January – stay tuned to register

  • Summit is live January 21st – 25th

  • Validation, inspiration, nuggets to PRACTICE

-       Patreon

  • Woop woop

  • Alternative to membership program

  • Opportunity to be in exchange of energy

  • www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

  • $1, $5, $10/month options

    • $10 private FB group, Chaos to Calm Ecourse, monthly Webinar based on the questions that are coming up in the group

 This week’s content:

-       Positive parenting is easy when there isn’t a lot of challenge – more challenging when our kids are rubbing up against our triggers

-       Toolbox metaphor

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  • Higher our emotion, more likely we use desperate tools (rewards and punishment)

  • The more tools we put in to toolbox, the more likely it is that the ineffective tools of rewards and punishment slide to the bottom

  • We can always do better

-       Relationship matters!!!!!!

  • When our relationships are disconnected, navigating behavior in a harsh way isn’t useful for anyone

  • Fear takes us towards harsh punishment

-       Mistakes are opportunities to learn

-       There are always consequences

-       Inviting out kids into relationship

  • Can feel uncomfortable

  • Taking accountability for how the relationship currently is and get vulnerable

  • Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we stop being curious with our kids

-       Start paying attention to the body

  • Support ourselves by noticing what is happening inside

  • We get more access to our toolbox when we are grounded and neutral

  • At the end of the day what is most useful is your relationship

  • NOT permission for being a permissive parent – still hold boundaries

  • Stronger relationship the more likely your child will open up and talk to you

-       Creating an environment where our kids can thrive and be a soft landing when they get it wrong

-       Shame/blame does not promote accountability and personal responsibility

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Joyful Courage for Parents of Teenagers

Closed FB group for parents of teenagers. Click here to join us!

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Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

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Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

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CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 125: Solo Show About Goals, Practice and Living Committed

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

Super happy new year!!

  • Love that everything is possible

  • Fresh opportunities

  • Embodiment of excitement/anticipation

 The work of parenting….

  • Really the work of human-ing

  • Being in relationship with self/others

  • Recognizing our own conditioning and breaking through to our souls desires

  • Honored to support

Todays topic – what it means to hold the container and get the results you WANT

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  • Overarching goals “What do you want at the end of our work? How will you measure success?” This can be anything from potty trained toddlers /easier bedtime/deeper relationship with teens /less yelling and more loving…

    • Some is easy to measure, some, not so much….

    • PLUS it is a pendulum swing

  • Many. Small. Steps.

It is so important to set goals – that way you know where you are going.

  • Cruise control vs being intentional

  • Being intentional DOES require you to face some hard truths sometimes, to bump up against thoughts/ beliefs / emotions that maybe you have become really skilled at avoiding

  • AND to live the fullest, most authentic life, we must make room for ALL of it – even the stuff that is hard

 Setting goals

  • I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual goals

  • They all feed into each other

  • The baby steps I take during the week set up my for the monthly goals,etc

  • The ANNUAL GOALS are the container (remember, I mentioned that earlier?)

 Living the practice

  • It’s not even really about the goals, it is about the journey TO the goals.

  • It is about going 100%

    • Reference Krista’s blog post about 100% is easy

    • https://boldlyembodylife.com/bold-notes/.

  • It’s every moment of saying yes to the practice we have decided to commit to.

  • “To be responsible, keep your promises to others, to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo

    • what this means to me….

    • Yes to myself for myself

    • How that then influences the entire ecosystem around me

      • What do I mean by ecosystem?

      • What happens in a healthy environment? Everything is influenced

My goals for 2018

  • Biz

    • Ok – you all know how completely passionate I am about Joyful Courage

      • Elevation with programs and podcast

      • Being my OWN sponsor

      • Continuously working to streamline the exchange of service <3

    • Family

      • SPECIAL TIME

        • Family meetings - VIGILANT

        • Small weekly “dates”

        • Monthly bigger “dates”

          • CONNECTION CONNECTION CONNECTION

        • Personal

          • HEALTH

            • Sacred mornings

            • Whole 30/ fueling my body with what it NEEDS

            • MOVEMENT – yoga every day

 Mistakes and compassion

  • Ebbs and flows

  • Stumbling blocks challenges

    • ALL OF THIS ^^ is a PART OF THE PATH

    • Wake up calls to more intention!

    • Things to CELEBRATE

Always moving forward

  • What are your goals for 2018?

  • What will you be practicing daily?

  • How will you support yourself in this important work?

  • Do you want a community?

    • SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE

OH – also wanted to share my WORD OF THE YEAR!!!

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Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work. 

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 106: Becoming Calm Responders with Alexandra Hughes

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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World traveler, calm seeker, mom coach, multi-lingual speaker, Alexander Hughes, brings us her methods for supporting mamas in the chaos that is parenthood. The trials and tribulations of her own experience in motherhood would eventually fuel the passion of support she gives to other moms navigating the same road.  Alex has created a soft space for mamas feeling out of control to find their rhythm and calm. At her website inneressencecoaching.com one has access to her workshops, authentic words of wisdom and that much needed place to connect with someone who gets it.  With three kids and a handful of international moves Alex knows what it means to feel out of control in the mama chaos – which is why she has turned over every rock to find that much needed calm. We really should just make her wear a cape.

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What you will hear in this episode:

  • Alex’s journey into and out of chaos

  • An experience of transitions from a working professional to working mom to stay at home mom and back to working mom

  • Our vision vs. our reality

  • Why finding calm is so important as a mother

  • The importance of mother’s nurturing a relationship with self

  • Identifying patterns and models in current parenting

  • Understanding where patterns and models come from

  • Understanding the internal work necessary to tackle patterns & models

  • How we set ourselves up and why this can ultimately lead to chaos

  • Changing how we see the road – going from linear to cyclical

  • Understanding the cycles through life

  • Awareness of what we model for our kids

  • Access to tools 1) manage stress 2) manage anger 3) creating a life for yourself that are aligned with values and self loving

  • How our words create expectations for the inner child

  • Where courage lies

  • Summary of how Alex helps mamas on the road to calm - #1 Internal Work #2 External Work

  • Self Care – is about “doing stuff that lights you up”

  • Calm responding wisdom & tools

Quotes:

“When you have kids and you're a stay-at-home mom and you have stay-at-home parents, checking those boxes and feeling that sense of achievement doesn’t always happen”. 6:34

“Models and patterns live deep inside of me based on my own childhood and my own experiences”. 11:16

“Create a new best friend voice that is going to support us in the choices we are going to make”. 12:06

“If we can switch from that and seeing these mistakes, those blowups as opportunities to reconnect with your kid, teach your kid, learn yourself”. 20:28

“It’s your job to love yourself and to practice self care and self love because your children are watching you. AND you are a better everything when you do”. 43:04

What does Joyful Courage mean to you:

“I think that you need to be courageous to be a conscious mom, to practice positive parenting, or to take that journey toward calm responding. It’s about opening yourself up to feelings. It’s about treating those moments as learning opportunities when you do ‘make those mistakes’. When you open yourself up, you need to be courageous to be vulnerable. Once you do that it opens up this space for connection, which without there would be no joy”.

Where to find Alex:

Website
Facebook
Linkedin


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Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage

PNW FALL TOUR!!

I am so so SO happy and excited to get to share ALL the details about this amazing workshop! Registration is now open for my Bellingham, Seattle and Portland events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.

www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

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Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 79: Mary Jo Lorei Helps us Bring Back the Romance

Today’s guest is Mary Jo Lorei, a coach who focuses on relationships and connections. We are discussing love, romance and intimacy after becoming parents. Join us!

“It’s less about the action you take. We look for the action. There’s so many different actions you can take, it doesn’t really matter. The experience is about the connection to your heart. It’s about being connected to what really matters. The actions won’t sustain you or your relationship. Listen to your heart and let that inspire you.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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•    Finding time for intimacy
•    The importance of intimacy – finding your why
•    Intimacy as parenting: part of role modeling healthy relationships
•    Creating an invitation to intimacy: first steps
•    Masculine and feminine energy – what’s the difference and why they are both in all of us
•    Balancing energy to promote your child’s autonomy
•    Vulnerability, touch and exploring connection
•    Vulnerability as strength
•    Relationships take two people, but relating takes one.
•    Putting up a screen to filter inputs vs putting up a shield
•    Distinguishing sex and intimacy – moving beyond euphemism
•    Connecting to “adjust the volume” vs “turning from off to on” – making smooth transitions to intimacy through ongoing mindfulness and connection
•    Reminding our partner and ourselves of what we appreciate about each other
•    Resolving disconnection through self-celebration and self-care
•    How to be curious about identifying and problem solving barriers to intimacy
•    Engaging universal parenting skills that we practice with our kids
•    The power of “I’ve Missed You” and remembering the intention
•    Improving the likelihood of successful connection through celebration and reverence vs. complaint
•    Letting go of expectations to leave space for what comes naturally     

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

The fun in being courageous is getting on that super big rollercoaster. It’s not just about death defying acts of meeting demons. It’s really fun to be courageous because it brings amazing results. Connecting those two words is so important because it takes courage to be joyful and how amazing is courage when it has joy in it. It means to be inspired.

Where to find MaryJo:

Maryjolorei.com
Boldly embody life

 

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FEED 3,000

LET'S FEED SOME PEOPLE!!

I would love to invite you to join me in making 3,000 snack sacks over the next three months and take them to organizations that serve the hungry!!

Not one of us can make all those lunches ourselves - BUT ALL OF US TOGETHER SURE CAN!!

So here is the plan, host a gathering at your house and invite other families over. Have each family bring some supplies and together make as many snack sacks as you can!!

Click here for the Feed 3,000 Facebook Event Link

Click her to go donate to the Feeding America page.

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COACHING!!

One on one coaching will take your parenting to the NEXT LEVEL :) Email me directly to book an exploratory call.

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Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

Eps 45: Deborah MacNamara helps us Make More Sense of our Kids (and humans in general)

Dr. Deborah MacNamara is a brilliant voice in parent education and if was so fun to get to know her on the podcast!

From her website:

Dr. Deborah MacNamara is on Faculty at the Neufeld Institute and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (or anyone who acts like one) She presents, teaches, and writes on all facets of child and adolescent development based on the relational-developmental approach of Gordon Neufeld. She is also in private practice where she offers counselling services to parents and professionals in making sense of learning, behavioural, and developmental issues in kids. Deborah is a dynamic teacher and experienced counsellor who makes developmental science come to life in the everyday context of home and classroom.

She was an amazing guest and I KNOW you will be left is awe of all you have learned while listening to our conversation!!

Show highlights:

  • Core of her work is making sense of kids, to the adults that are responsible to them

  • Childhood is the unfolding of human potential – separate social and adapted human beings

  • Rest, Play Grow is about children ages 2-6 years old.

  • It takes 5-7 years for brains to resemble adult brain. Before then, their brains are impulsive, they are all about themselves, their goal is to focus on oneself and become a separate person. They are ego-centric

  • Play is the leading edge of development

  • Warm up act in preparation

  • Most of the growth happens for this age during play – free of consequences, kids are free to be expressive and exploratory…

  • Children express emotions at play – keeps them balanced and at the surface

  • Play is the unfolding of our early occupations

  • Play that leads development when they are playing on their own…

  • Release a child to play after offering contact and closest first… they know their attachment needs are met an they can move into play.

  • … Under three they stay pretty close to parent

  • 2.5 – 3 signs of venturing out and spread their wings to try things our.  Promote this by using contact and closeness first and set them up to play, then slowly move away and give them space to play

  • What is the space that your child engages in?

  • Temperament matters – 1/5 children are more sensitive and stired up by their environment… they take a little bit longer to be satiated with connection

  • Give each child what they need for play to unfold

  • Resistance and opposition – counter will instincts – instinct to resist others when we are feeling co-ersed

  • We have our own agendas and they have theirs

  • Attachment – if a child is not in active attachment with us (engaged) we have kind of disappeared

  • Growth occurs within relationship – we want to keep them receptive to our message.

  • Acknowledging the child has their own interest and move forward anyways. Children do need to realize that at certain times, the resistance is futile.

  • The more the relationship is in tact, easier it is for kids to roll with it.

  • Say no and give them permission to have their feelings.

  • Emotional self control is something we can get to – over time.

  • Encourage expressing feelings

  • Help them feeling feelings

  • Mixing their feelings

  • Reflecting - that it is about the child’s relationship with own feelings

  • In the practice – get to a place of deepening and developing relationship with others

  • The relationship must be with oneself in before one becomes a social being

  • In order to have a relationship with oneself, an adult must have a relationship with us...

  • A child must know who they are first, before they become a social being… The adult is responsible for helping the child know who they are.

  • Help child become civilized relating with emotional expression…  Yes please, lets all make this our goal!!

Where to find Deborah MacNamara:
http://macnamara.ca/
Facebook
Twitter

BUY HER BOOK!! - Rest, Play Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (or anyone who acts like one)

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Want MORE??  Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::::::::

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

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Click here for more information about PARENT COACHING with Casey and to book your exploratory call!

 

Fill out the form below to Join the Joyful Courage Newsletter list - stay up to date on the latest blog posts, podcasts and offers for parents!!

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Eps 32: Kelly Bos - Navigating Two Parenting Styles in One Family

So grateful to have Kelly Bos on the show today!  Kelly is a psychotherapist focusing on individual, marriage, and family relationships. She helps people find meaning and joy in their relationships - with themselves and others

Today we are talking about navigating parenting styles in our family.  

As I say on a regular basis, parenting is a journey, right?  Have you started to notice that when we say "yes!  I want to be with you forever!" we are also saying yes to the journey of relationship???

And it's not always easy.

We show up with baggage - we show up with our own lens that has been developed through the experiences of our life...  AND we sometimes forget that we aren't all looking through the same lens...

Listen in as I talk with Kelly about how to be more proactive and forwarding in our conversations with our partners, and build stronger connections with them in the process!!

Where to find Kelly:

Her website: http://www.kellybos.com/
And on Facebook

Articles for further reading:

What to do When Your Parenting Styles Don't Mesh by Kelly Bos
When Parents Disagree on Discipline by Amy McCreedy

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And please know that you are invited to join in the conversation over in the Live and Love With Joyful Courage Facebook group!  It is a place for support and celebration - full of parents who are intentional about showing up as their best self (even when it's hard to do) with their families!!

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ALSO, check out the offer I shared at the end of the podcast - The Calm and Connected Parenting Program through Mazlo.   Consider trying out this program to take some small steps towards making big changes in your home.

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Click HERE for more about one on one coaching with me!!

 

SOLO PROMO: Learn about the TRU Parenting Stop Yelling in 21 Days Coaching Course from Andy Smithson

Andy's the man!!  

He has helped so many parents find their calm and move forward in solid relatinship with their family.  

This "solo promo" is designed to get the word out about his latest offer for parents.

Click on this link to go straight to the sales page for more INFO and to REGISTER :)

bit.ly/stopyelling21daysjc

Knowledge is power, people!!  Empower your parenting!!

Oh, and BTW, the link to my super fabulous online learning offers is
www.joyfulcourage.com/online-offers.

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Talking About the Birds and Bees and Kids with Amy Lang

Who is Amy Lang?

www.birdsandbeesandkids.com

Sexual Health Educator for 20 years –

Works primarily with parents of kids preschool  - middle school

Keep it real, keep it age appropriate, be honest…

The more open and honest we are, the safer kids are…

The more informed kids are the more empowered they are…

"Sex, sexuality (relationships and connection) drives everything we do – in our families, how we relate to each other, culture and media – music!  And we run around and pretend its not happening…" 

Amy’s newsletter is the bomb!!

Harder for kids to avoid porn now than it was for us to find it when we were kids…

Because porn creates a chemical “thrill” kids will go back to what they’ve seen - can’t believe it, can’t stop looking at it…

“Junk food sex ed”

-       porn
-   convo on the playground/ from other kids

 Sex ed should be getting short and sweet convos from a very early age…  How babies are made, body development, sexuality, happy healthy relationships with YOUR VALUES included…

Sexuality is a part of what makes us HUMAN.

Outlier parents have to put up with discomfort around “If I tell my kids about sex, they are going to tell everyone...”

What we can say to our children:

“This is a private conversations we have in our family, its not your job to tell other kids, its their mom and dad to tell other kids…  people are weird and uncomfortable – and its safer to take to me about this…” 

Sets them up with some boundaries.

Talking openly is protective, teaches them bodies are private = sexual abuse prevention…

Demonstrating openness by talking about sex. Reinforces that we mean it when we say,“You can tell me anything…”

Pre-5th grade --- biological stuff/nuts and bolts/how things work/term defining

Always talking about values

Middle school --- social/emotional aspects of relating/dating/ talking about being “in relationship” with another person – noticing in movies/tv – normalizing the ups and downs of relationships

Asking about what is happening in peers groups/what ifs/how are they feeling about what they are seeing --- EMPOWER THEM WITH INFORMATION AND CONVERSATION

Sharing values, influencing them so they can make their own, informed decisions…  And you want to be in their head as much as possible!

Long acting reversable contraception  (LARC)  – 5-7 years of no pregnancy/no period

 

Amy’s Offers:

Birds+Bees+Kids Website

- Videos and webinars

- Resource list

- Blog

 

Go watch the videos and CALM DOWN about talking to your kids about this!!

FB - Birds+Bees+Kids

Twitter - @birdsandbees

Sign up for Amy's newsletter 

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I LOVE YOU ALL!!!  Thank you SO MUCH for listening!

Episode Five: Talking about tweens with Shannon Younger from Tween US

Show Notes:

It was my great pleasure to interview Shannon Younger from Tween US.  You can find her blog on the Chicago Now website.

Click here to join her Facebook community

Follow her on Twitter

Shannon lives with her 12 year old in the suburbs of Chicago and has been blogging on Tween US for the past 3 years...

"When we are feeling pain in our own parenting practices, chances are, other parents are feeling the same way..."  - Casey

Tina Bryson Payne and Dan Siegel - brain development in teens

"Doesn't have to be us vs. them."  - Shannon

"Stand in your firmness within the context of being in relationship with your child."  - Casey

Tweens and Social Media

*  Take the out!  Kids must be 13 to participate

*  So much goes on that parents are unaware of.  Check out your child's friends pages....

*  Remember that internet isn't all bad - it can be a helpful/fun tool

    - Bethany Mota  You Tube Channel

*  Take time to train and develop skills

Smart Phones

*  Communications skills

*  Making agreements/setting boundaries together

*  Central "charging station" at night (Shannon's is in her bedroom)

Lauren Steinberg -  Author of The 10 Basic Principles of Goof Parenting

"My 12 was not the same as your 12, but my 12 was painful too." - Shannon

Stay connected by having fun, sharing laughs and reminding them they are a part of a family.

Let me know what you think!!!  

I am here for you people! I treasure your feedback and look to you to let me know what you are finding helpful and what you want more of...  You can leave a comment below OR you can send me a voice message by clicking on the SPEAK PIPE app over there - its super easy, don't be afraid...


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