Eps 178: Beyond Birds and Bees with Bonnie J Rough

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

 

Today’s guest is Bonnie J. Rough, who is an author, journalist, and speaker focusing on families, health, education, parenting and sexuality. Her latest book is Beyond Birds & Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality. has written recently for the New York Times on teaching young children about boundaries and consent and the value of childhood crushes, The Atlantic on both the link between sex ed and gender equality and improving school sex ed, the Washington Post on why it’s important to teach sex ed in mixed-gender groups, and New York Magazine on raising kids without sexual shame. Join us!

 

"What I learned is that the focus on helping kids wait longer is really not and should not be the end all. It’s really more about how can we prepare them to have a positive experience.”

 

“The Dutch parents who I met and the American ones too who have inspired me on this really are prioritizing their relationship with their kids over their ideals about what and when their kids will do things.”

 

“If we have those open lines of communication we actually have more control than if we forbid.”

 

“The more open and transparent we can be with our kids the better.”

 

thumbnail_20180316_4102bw.jpg

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Cultural differences between the US and Amsterdam around gender equality, nudity, and sexuality

  • Normalizing conversations about sexuality

  • Separating nudity from eroticism

  • Differences in sexual health outcomes between US and Dutch teenagers

  • Ways to keep lines of communication open with your kids

  • Double standards applied to boys and girls

  • Why helping your child maintain cross-gender friendships

  • The importance of knowing your kids’ friends

  • What the research says about teenage sex

  • What to do when you feel you’re late to the party in talking to your kids about sex

  • The importance of not having an agenda when having those curious conversations with kids

  • Owning when we feel awkward or uncomfortable

  • Navigating fear and baggage to become available for conversations with our kids

  • Expanding our own knowledge base to have better conversations

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Oh my gosh, to me joyful courage is all about that permission, that freeing sense of permission that I got from observing parents who knew that, you know, making little mistakes in a day to day conversation with our kids about healthy sexuality, it's meaningless, those little mistakes. The big thing that we're doing right, you know, having an interest in relating with them on the subject and so when I realize that, you know, it's not a thing to damage our kids by telling them too much, it's not a thing to damage our kids by telling them something that wasn't accurate one day and coming back, circling back to it another day. It's, you know, knowing that I could be gentle with myself and that we can actually have fun with the conversation once they kind of got to just be a thread through our normal life, you know, basically joyful courage for me is about going headlong into it, you know, with optimism and cheerfulness and hope and trust.

 

Resources:

Beyond Birds & Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality

 

Where to find Bonnie:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

 

::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

:::::

Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!
** This will only remain available for a limited time **

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 111: Fear, Belonging, Self Acceptance.... It's all here.

Today is a solo show – thank you for tuning in this week!  Sit back and take in the thoughts and ideas that are currently showing up for me and in our community.

A Free Spirit Life

A new show hosted by Shannon Kinney-Duh.   Find out more at http://www.afreespiritlife.com/ or search for A Free Spirit Life on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast.

Living Joyful Courage Membership Program

  • Doors are OPEN through October 1st!

  • Join us today!

  • Members share their experience of learning and community

  • Themes coming up: October – Mindset, November – Respect, December – Gratitude

  • Access to all past webinars, as well as content over the next three months

  • 3 month commitment for one payment of $159

  • joyfulcourage.com/ljc

  • Book a short FREE call to ask questions https://ljc.youcanbook.me/

Todays Content

IMG_5773-1.JPG
  • Together Live event with Glennon Doyle and friends

  • Belonging and significance as an underlying principle of PD

  • Humans are great perceivers, not great interpreters

  • Growing relationship while guiding them to learn from mistakes is what Positive Parenting is all about

  • Shopping cart analogy

  • My child is going to learn what they need through mistakes and experiences

  • Our conditioning gets in our way when we choose to parent this way

  • Fear shows up – controlling and rigid, what is the right thing to do?

  • The space between authoritarian and permissive styles

  • Brene Brown – check her out Braving the Wilderness

  • True belonging is something inside of us, requires trust

  • Conscious parenting requires us to trust our children, their foundation and relationship

  • Our declaration of using PD can make others uncomfortable

  • My vision is to have confident, capable kids who can navigate the world with kindness and assertive – interruptions to the ugly in the world

  • You have to be who you are

  • So easy as the parent to get up in their (our children’s) grill

  • Children get to DESIGN themselves

  • Taking a look at our own modeling, self acceptance, recognizing fear

  • My children can only hear their soul’s voice is to release my fear and trust

  • What are your thoughts?? Share in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage FB Group

  • GIVEAWAY!! Win a copy of Love Warrior by writing a review of the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes

Thank You!

Come back next week for a brand new interview! Listen to the podcast through the website OR subscribe!!! Find me on iTunes, Google Play or iHeartRadio! 

Big love!!