Checking in on your experience...
Where are you right now? Did you feel as though you could embrace the learning in week one? What was helpful? What kept you from engaging? What are you noticing about your commitment to this offer?
If you are feeling the need for support, ask for it.
I have heard a wise mentor of mine say, "I can't do it for you - this is an inside job." I believe that this is so true for integrating what you are learning into your life and the life of your family... AND it requires personal responsibility.
It's not easy to change, AND it is completely possible and available. I have no doubt that when you put in the work, you will move towards the results you want.
The scaffold approach
While we are moving into proactive tools for getting your kids on board to building better relationship skills, it is important to remember that what you focused on last week will continue to be important.
Continue to notice what happens physically for you when your kids are in conflict. Also notice where else in your life this physical sensation shows up. Get curious. Is this pattern one that serves you? Continue to journal about it with an open mind.
While we won't talk specifically about Thinking Tree this week, make this an ongoing practice. As was mentioned in the videos last week, we can only change the way we show up if we teach our body a new way of being. Without the practice of the physical experience of showing up differently, it will simply remain unattainable. Something we know we should do, but never really find ourselves doing it.
Use the Facebook community as a safe space for puzzling this all out, and know you can always reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Before you begin, revisit what you wrote in your journal about how you would like your family to be in relationship with each other... Revisit your goals, and feel free to expand, tweak, or shift anything now that you are looking at it with new eyes. Consider those qualities that you value the most - take a moment to write about when/if you are modeling them with your kids. How can you improve on this? What areas/times of day could you pay more attention to your example?
Lesson two/Part one
This week we are going to be proactive and consider the skills that our kids may be lacking when it comes to problem solving on their own. This first video is all about having conversations with our kids about their experiences in the family. Having conversations that give us to get a bigger picture, that allow us to get into their worlds and broaden our perspective on their experience.
Lesson two/Part two
Playing with language...
This lesson is all about encouraging the whole family to learn and practice new language through role playing. Having common language opens up the space for you all to be more intentional in navigating challenges in a way that leads to SOLUTIONS!
Lesson two/Part three
We are going to continue to make mistakes. This is part of the human existence. We are messy, emotional creatures - and even with skills, we hurt each other. This lesson is all about being intentional about supporting our kids in knowing how to make it right when they screw up. AND MODEL THIS!! They need to see it in action before they will use it!
And just disregard the man with the bow and arrows that shows up towards the end of the video (this is real life, people) :)
Please remember that this course is yours to fit in to your life as it works for you. You are welcome to watch all the videos at once and then apply the lessons, OR, watching them over the course of the week and apply the learning as you go. REGARDLESS if how you are consuming the information, the action you take is where the work really lives. So make time to do this work with your family.
Write in your journal and reflect on how the intentional conversations and lessons you are applying with your family are affecting the overall vibe in the house. IF you are noticing resistance from your kids, know that there may be some hurt there, and some mistrust around if anything is really going to change. It may be uncomfortable for them to show up in these conversations, especially if they are used to being told that they are wrong...
THINK TREE. This is when being in a calm, centered body becomes really valuable. And it is ok to step away from this to cool down and try again later. Ultimately we are saying yes to relationship with our family. We are saying yes to trusting that we can hold the space in a way that will change the way we relate to each other. Be compassionate towards the growing pains that may show up in the process, and stay committed anyways!
Share what is showing up with me (email@example.com) or in the Facebook community.
Big huge love to you all this week. xoxoxo