Swear Words at Dinner...

We don't have an issue with swear words.

My kids are as fascinated by them as any other, but it doesn't create problems for us (the grown ups).  They've learned the big four - a**, sh**, bit** and recently, f***.   We have other banned words that aren't ok at our house, including stupid, shut up, idiot, sucks, damn, retard and gay (as in "that's gay").

We have lots of conversations about these words, kids who use them, and how it makes us feel to hear them.  I encourage the kids to actually say the words when we are discussing them, and it seems as though all the power they may otherwise have goes away when permission to use these words is granted...

My work is not to crack up when the kids say them.

Tonight we were talking about a training I am going to this weekend.  It's called, Leadership Embodiment, and is all about calming your body so that your mind can follow.  I was explaining this to the family and asked them if they could think of a time when I got super mad.

Of course, neither of them had a problem with this.  

I told them that the centering I practice at this training helps me when my emotions take over and I get really mad.  It allows me to stay calm and helpful.

Ian said, "Remember when you said hell?"  He kinda whispered the last word, huge smile on his face.

I looked at him, met his smile, and said, "Thats when you know I'm really mad, right?  When I use not so nice words?"

***  Fortunately, this doesn't happen very often...  It's when I've lost all my parenting tools and resort to comments like, "I am really pissed right now," in desperation.  They usually get the point. ***

He nodded, then his whole face lit up and he said, "What if you said fuck???" That last word was mouthed as Ian's eyes grew so big that I thought they might pop right out of his head.

Trying to keep a straight face I responded, "I won't say that word to your guys, no matter how mad I get..."

And then I was quite for a minute.

"And if I ever do use that word, you should maybe just duck and cover, cause that means I have lost all control."

How do you handle swear words?