Eps 175: A candid conversation with my kids about screen time

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Snowy February in Washington state – wowzer!

Today I am talking about screens and technology

Exciting news- Lisa Damour, author of Untangled and new book Under Pressure: Confronting the epidemic of stress and anxiety in girls

  • Big deal

  • How I get guests

  • How many say no

My book has a launch date!!

  • Presale April 10th

  • Official Launch May 20th

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iTunes Reviews!!!

  • From January, a five star review from @chrisnjess – “I found you through Birds and bees and kids and as your podcast began, it was as if you were speaking from my own mothering journey. I feel as if you are another angel in my continuing mothering journey. I found your podcast episode bery insightful, information, and affirming. I am tuning in!!

    • Thank you @chrisnjess!!!! And you all know how much I love Amy Lang from Birds and Bees and kids – did you know she started a podcast too? It’s called “Just say this” - Check it out on itunes or wherever you are listening to podcasts

  • The podcast also received a five star review earlier this month from @urfmama – “ Casey is like my long lost sister that I’ve never met. Like minded is an understatement. When I was feeling down with my mothering I searched “positive Discipline” in podcasts and eureka! Joyful Courage appeared like a bright star in the dark night. I eat this podcast up, I tell every parent I know about it. I find myself nodding while I listen as I do my housework. I feel like my hand is being held and I ‘m gently being led through this incredibly strategic yet unpredictable “chess game” of parenting. Do yourself a favor and soak in the wisdom that Joyful Courage so generously shares. Thank you, Casey, much love from the heartland.”

    • THANK YOU @URFMAMA – one day, one day our paths will cross.

  • YES! Thank you to everyone that is jumping into itunes to leave reviews – this helps with my visibility – meaning more people are likely to find me – and it also just FEELS SO GOOD to read and know that what I am doing over here in the guest room of my house MATTERS.

 Ok….  On to todays content.

Screens

Why?

  • It is coming up in the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens community, it is coming up in calls with clients, it is coming up in my own life and practice with my kids

  • FOR CERTAIN: it is a big pain in the ass

Today I am going to share and inquiry from my own experience – not because I know the way, or I have it all figured out, but because I am IN IT with you.

  • Remember last April when I had Dr. Delaney Runston on and we talked about her documentary, Screenagers? There are so many pearls of wisdom and research in my convo with her – be sure to listen or relisten - http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/140

  • I also had a powerful conversation with one of my colleagues, a positive discipline Lead trainer, about this during the teen summit, which is available to invest in through the end of this month at joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

  • I spoke with Kim Muench about this back in episode 82 – Parenting in the Age of Smart phones…

  • Plus, it has come up in loads of other conversations

  • IT’S NOT GOING AWAY

Here are some of the pain points I am hearing from the community AND experiencing myself:

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  • Limits and boundaries

  • How much to monitor

  • Broken agreements

  • The arguing

  • The internet is forever

  • How will they develop real relationship skills when everything is over text/IM/Snaps

  • Online/SM bullying

  • Sexting/nudes

  • How much time is too much time to be on their phones

  • How to be the lone parents who waits to get their child a phone

  • How to support kids with friends when they don’t have SM/phones

  • Restricting what they do/see on their devices

  • Begin real and honest about our OWN (parents) phone use

  • Using devices as avoidance/escape

 Let’s check in with the kids:

  • How did you feel about making agreements about screens?

  • What is your experience with social media?

  • What do you not like about the phone and SM? What kinds of things do you see happening?

  • Where do you feel like it gets in the way of life? Or do you?

  • What do you like about it?

  • How do you feel about me when I am on your case about your phone use?

  • What do you see me modeling with my phone use?

  • You have some restrictions on your phone – is that helpful?

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Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

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Eps 174: Learning to be a more mindful communicator with Oren Jay Sofer

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Today’s guest is Oren Jay Sofer, the author of Say What You Mean - A Mindful Approach to Non-Violent Communication. He leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication at meditation centres and education settings around the US. Oren is a graduate of the IMS Spirit Rock teacher training program. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University, teaches in the Insight Meditation community and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and a certified trainer of non-violent communication. Oren creates mindfulness training programs for a number of organizations including Mindful Schools, Kaiser Permanente, and 10% Happier. He lives in Richmond, California. Join us!

 

"If we can’t actually listen to each other and have a meaningful conversation when we disagree, it’s impossible to work together to address the challenges that we’re facing”

 

“We can’t wait for the opportunities where presence is needed to practice presence.”

 

“Even when we can't meet our child's needs we can help them to know and recognize that their needs matter to us.”

 

“Our feelings are a reflection of our needs.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

·       Being in response vs reaction

·       Communication as a way of navigating conflict mindfully

·       3 foundations for successful conversations and effective communication

·       The role of presence in communication

·       The ambient stress of raising a child

·       Owning our responses in times of stress

·       Exercising self-compassion in relation to parenting-related stress

·       Integrating moments of awareness into your day

·       Creating daily rituals into mindfulness

·       Mindfulness as a way to mitigate cumulative stress

·       Mindfulness as a way to be present in our relationships

·       Mindfulness as awareness and a way to raise our baseline kindness and presence

·       Preparing for parenting with mindfulness through practicing

·       Practice as a way of creating a new way of being

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·       Creating awareness of the impact of our actions on others

·       Discussing our needs instead of blame

·       Being realistic about our ability to meet all of our child’s needs

·       Intention in communication and mindfulness

·       Approaching communication from a place of curiosity and care

·        Curiosity as a way of being

·       The need for intention to be genuine

·       Feelings of a reflection of needs

·       Increasing emotional literacy to enhance communication

·       Helping children to problem solve as an alternative to “consequences”

·       Connecting before correcting

·       Conflict as an opportunity for learning

·       Where to start when you realize you need to improve your communication

·       Learning to pause, be curious and consider the needs of others

·       Connection through perspective shift

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

So I think what joyful courage means to me is it's rooted in the recognition that the places that we struggle, the places that we're scared of the places that we feel pain actually hold the precious gift of our own freedom and when we recognize that having the courage to turn towards those places and to actually include them in our life and learn from them becomes a process that's joyful because we know why we're doing it. It's not just about “I've got to trudge through this” but we've experienced to some degree and have a deep faith that there's there's actually a gift waiting for me on the other side.

 

Resources:

Say What You Mean book

Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Text “guided” 44222 to sign up for a short ebook and free guided meditation series

 

Where to find Oren:

Website

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Youtube

           

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Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

 

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Eps 173: A solo show about the power of encouragement

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Recap of the summit

-       What happens when we start having real conversations?

-       Community/support

-       Seeing participants in real life

-       Recognizing our attachments and course correcting

-       Gratitude to guests

-       Gratitude to participants

-       $109 and it is your for eva

 

Saw Brene Brown

-       Seen before

-       Appreciate her realness

-       Familiar stories

-       Story of daughter swimming and conversation around being brave IS winning

-       Are these the conversations we are having with our kids? Are we explicit?

 

What we notice and what we speak

-       Life skills/qualities

-       Negativity bias

-       How often they ARE using tools/skills – it’s just when they don’t if feels so PAINFUL

-       Our expectation of mastery

-       Layers going on under the surface (meaning of behavior with Alison Smith 110, Iceberg Metaphor solo show 129)

 

What it takes to stay focused under the surface

-       Vulnerability and humility – it may not be about you

-       Faith

-       Trust/surrender – let go of your attachment to how you think it should be, and also the idea that you KNOW what’s happening for your child when they haven’t expressed it

-       The idea that all humans ultimately want connecting and to know they matter. All of them.  We are hard wired to connect

 

Our language and messages:

-       Week three at MMS we dug into encouragement vs praise

o   Process oriented

o   Really seeing the child

o   Naming qualities with evidence

§  My story this morning with the waffles and “what do I do with the mix?”

o   I notice, I appreciate, I trust/know/have faith

o   Not for the short term/immediate – but for the long term, internal voice (ep 136 with Kelly Bos about how NOT to become the voice of your child’s inner critic) it is about below the surface, about supporting our kids in changing what they believe about themselves

 

I am going to do a webinar this month in the Patreon community to diver deeper into encouragement and I hope you join in! The Joyful Courage Super Fam is a group of parents who are giving $10/month to the podcast to support in the sustainability and create a win/win. Members of the community enjoy monthly webinars and online support through our closed facebook page. Check it out at www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

 

Have a beautiful week my friends!!  I am going to be watching my tone this week and really working on the sometimes unspoken messages I am sending to my kids when I am less than mindful of what I am doing – and clean up any messes along the way.

 

Big love!!

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Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

 

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 172: Unlearning Supermom with Rachel Butler

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s guest is Rachel Butler. She is an executive and professional coach, an organizational health expert, a wife and mother of 2 boys she is one of those unique women who is both powerhouse and presence. She's a master in organizational systems and she's worked with over 325 organizations. Rachel embodies what it means to be an empowered woman and a conscious mom. Rachel and her mama business partner Gillian Rowinski are the voices behind Unlearning SuperMom a feminist website that supports equal rights and opportunities for women and empowering all of us. We will be discussing Unlearning SuperMom. Join us!

 

"Our culture has clearly defined what being a good mom should look like and it is oppressive. The martyrdom of being busy, being agreeable, putting everyone else first, running yourself ragged. If super mom is who we become when we are in this world with our eyes closed then unlearning her is a deeply courageous feminist act.”

 

“Are we doing it because it's a “should” or are we doing it because it’s something that brings us joy?”

 

“It’s really hard not to get into comparison-itis.”

 

“I sort of reject that idea that the major measure of success in parenting is enjoying it”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

-The impact of childcare costs on returning to work for moms

-The emotional conflict about returning to work

-Keeping it real as a mom

-Who is super mom and where does she come from?

-Re-learning our inherent self-worth that is not based in accomplishment

-Motherhood and martyrdom: when we put ourselves last

-Motherhood messaging and where it comes from

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-History of motherhood and women’s work

-The perceived value of women based on their relationship with their children

-Child centred social media messages and guilt

-The value of the messy middle

-Being aware of social media messaging and how it impacts us

-Where do you start unlearning super mom?

-Ways to dip your toe in to shifting towards unlearning super mom

-Stages of learning from awareness

-The mental load we carry

-Checking in with your body

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think one of the phrases that most triggering, I already even brought it up in this conversation, the triggering for me as a parent is like "Oh, just like enjoy every moment. It goes by so fast" that statement brings so much anxiety to me and I really understand the intention of it. I do. But for me and I feel like I'm, you know, I'm someone who's like maybe even obsessively working towards like enjoying, you know, trying to be with my kids and you know, so I find it really and I'm sort of a nostalgic person anyway. So anyway, I get a lot of anxiety from that statement and so I sort of reject that idea that the major measure of success in parenting is enjoying it, you know.

 

So I think from, you know, the most impactful things, you know, profound things that I've learned as a parent has really come from, like, the more painful moments of the parent, like some of the suffering that's come, you know, and what I've been able to learn from that and being able to sort of meet it, you know, meet and face all of the really messy stuff and and I think that really is courage, right, like coming up to that really scary, whether it's personal work or complex relationships or whatever and showing up for them.

 

So I think the, you know, joyful courage to me in that context is really about looking for the meaning and just showing up in your life and allowing that to not, you know, that what's there to not be good or bad, you know and not treating happiness like it's the pinnacle of life experience.

 

Resources:

Women Who Run With The Wolves

16 Second Meditation

Unlearning Supermom Retreat

 

Where to find Sara:

Unlearning Supermom

Instagram

Facebook

 

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

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Eps 171: Solo Show - Being the calm INSIDE the storm

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today is a solo show all about being the calm inside the storm.  That is the dream, isn’t it?? Listen in as I tease apart what this means and offer ideas and strategies around hwo to get there more often.

 

·      Parenting class

·      Summit

·      Podcast conversations

·      E+R=O

·      Events and experiences….  3 Bs

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·      What if nothing changes?

·      What if all we have is how we feel inside of the experience?

·      What do we want to BE/FEEL/CREATE??

·      Feedback matters – internal vs external validation

·      Parenting is a PART of our life that can feel like our WHOLE life

·      Energy of emotion

·      Personal work, small steps with Sid, ACES with Sarah – unlearning supermom

·      Stuck in what it should look like

·      What about acceptance of what is? What about surrender to not knowing the outcome?

·      Influence yes. Hard work and practice, yes.

·      AND you decide how to respond from life --- worry fear, that is the present moment experience you create. Openness, love, that is the present moment experience you create.

·      Think about, bring about – energetically we are always influencing our life, our experience

 

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Audio summit for parents of teens

-       One week of real conversations

-       PD trainers who have already been through it

-       The launch starts January 1st

-       Summit will run January 28th – February 1st

 

REGISTER NOWwww.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 170: Exploring the Energy of Emotion with Sara Harvey Yao

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Today’s guest is Sara Harvey Yao. Sara is a leadership consultant who has developed more than 4,000 leaders across the globe. She specializes in helping leaders navigate pressure and stress by staying present in the moment. Sara is the author of two books, Get Present and Drop In. She’s the mother of two teen boys and can speak firsthand to how the power of presence can transform the parenting experience. We will be discussing. Join us!

 

"Naming feelings opens the doorways for the energy of emotion to metabolize.”

“When we’re in emotion, we’re in a different part of our brain than the language center so it’s often hard to articulate what we’re feeling.”

“Anger...is a signal fire. Something is going on here. It’s a sign your boundaries have been crossed.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

-How naming emotions helps us process them

-Facilitating our movement through emotions in the parenting journey

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-The power of acknowledging, even to ourselves, when we are struggling

-Feeling vs thinking

-Attitudes and beliefs about feelings that contribute to feeling “stuck”

-Helping our kids name and process feelings and the role of modeling

-Normalizing emotions for our kids

-Anger as a secondary emotion

-What’s really under anger

-Exploring our triggers and where our feelings are coming from

-Establishing a common language with your kids to discuss feelings

-How to support ourselves and our kids to regulate emotions

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

The courage to try something new and if that’s new to, I’m going to try a new parenting technique, if that means I’m going to sit with a feeling instead of stuffing it, I’m actually going to say something instead of not saying something, any new behavior to me takes deep, deep, deep courage and when we take those leaps into courage, for me it always ends up being really joyful. There’s such an empowered, a sense of empowerment and it leads to new opportunities or new directions that I might not have known about if I hadn’t been courageous. So those two words fit so beautifully together, it’s just joyful courageousness when we try something new.

Resources:

Get Present

Drop In

Dan Siegel, Flipping Your Lid

Listen to past show with Sara: Episode 68

Listen to Mindfulness Min Summit 

Where to find Sara:

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn

 :::

Audio Summit for Parents of Teens

  • One week of real conversations

  • PD trainers who have already been through it

  • The launch starts January 1st

  • Summit will run January 28th – February 1st

REGISTER NOWwww.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 169: Solo Show, Compassion, Integrity and Bringing in 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Eps 169

Happy New Year!!

Hope everyone had an easy breezy holiday. Grateful to friends and family and all the ways we were supported to enjoy the season. 

So much to be excited about. 

I want to share a couple of reviews that came through Apple Podcast last month– I am always so grateful when you all are willing to show up there and provide feedback.

This is the podcast I recommend most to friends. Casey has such a great way of breaking down parenthood challenges and offering tips and commiseration with humility. She doesn’t come across as preachy and she is in it with us! Her guests are phenomenal, her interviewing skills are wonderful and her solo show insights always resonate! She’s experiences the humility of parenthood at all stages and it’s evident she truly wants to help. Thank you, Casey!  - Cassthurston

I’m a new listener and found you through your excellent Tina Payne Bryson interview. Just listened to your 2018 recap epsiode, as well. Great work! I’ve subscribed and will be a regular listener. I also look forward to reading your book! Thank you for your excellent, realistic parenting insights! – GAC Sunshine

Thank you so much, you two!!  And listeners, if you’d like to rate and review the show, I am going to be sharing reviews here – you may hear your name!!!  I am really going to be encouraging you all to be sharing the show. I know that the content of this podcast Is useful – you tell me so!!!  And I want as many parents as possible to be listening in. This is how we raise a generation that can lead with compassion and integrity - by parenting this way. So in this context, parenting IS social justice. Lets all be a part of changing the course by not only doing our own work to be more attuned and empathetic parents, but to support others in the work as well!

This is something I will be talking a lot about in 2019. Compassion and integrity. And our DUTY to be engaging in conversations that support and forward others this way too! It can feel vulnerable and scary – but too bad. It has to happen.

Speaking of compassion and integrity – and for the sake of the conversation, I define compassion as sympathetic consciousness of another persons suffering and integrity as being honest, decent, and walking our talk – these are two big themes that I want to highlight this year – both in my personal practice of being a parent and a human on the planey, as well as with the people I work with and all of you.

Compassion and integrity.

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Today, I am going to share a bit about a book I am reading that is really blowing my mind, it is called The Path is Everywhere; uncovering the jewels hidden within you, by Matt Lacata.  If you’ve listened to the show for very long, you know that I love my energy worker/reiki master friend (shout out to Jessica) and she has turned me on to the work of Matt. I am using this book as part of my soul care time, reading a few pages in the morning to gather inspiration.

I am not very far into the book, and what I read this morning gave me pause and I decided that now would be the perfect time to bring it here to discuss with all of you.

The first part of the book is about what the author calls our “shadow” – this is the part of ourselves that lays dormant until it is jostled into wakefulness. Another way to make sense of it is the way that we feel when we are triggered. Our shadow is who takes over when we are riding the emotional freight train. The parts of ourselves that we may cloak in shame or guilt – the parts that we keep hidden.

Most of us have a tendency to want to hide our shadow, keep it deep inside of ourselves, not let it see the light of day. Many of us may think we are pretty successful with this – until we aren’t. A lot of the clients I see come to me because their shadow is making appearances in the parenting journey and they want to fix it, they want to make it go away.

I have a shadow as well – she wants control and order, she wants to know the outcome, and she wants everyone to be on her agenda. My shadow takes the behavior of others deeply personally, quickly manifesting fear, rejection and disrespect whenever I experience criticism and ridicule.

My shadow, your shadow – our shadows are a part of who we are. And if, like me, you subscribe to life being purposeful, then perhaps our shadow isn’t something that we should turn away from, or get rid of. Perhaps our shadow is something we can turn towards and get curious about.

You all know that I love the personal growth and development conversation. You know that I see parenting as one long personal growth and development workshop. And if you have been listening for any length of time, you know that I am deeply invested in supporting others in doing this work along with me.

This is why I am talking about shadow work today.

Matt Lacata writes:

It is important that we cultivate the intention to become more interested in the truth of our experience than in the demand to find relief from our symptoms.

Putting this in the context of parenting, especially as we look ahead to a brand new year and choosing in to growth and possibility, we can consider the truth of our experiences as taking a magnifying lens to our current struggles – bring in curiosity, ownership, honesty – and ask ourselves questions like: What am I meant to learn here? What is going on for me? What is the emotion that I can connect to right here right now? What is the story I am telling myself about my child? Myself? My safety?

Our response might begin with sounding like: “well, I am pissed!” but what is underneath that? If we get into the blame game, I invite us all to bring it back to a focus on self – because regardless of what triggers our reaction, how we react is wholely ours.

This takes practice friends, and a deep belief that there IS something to be learning from these interactions – faith that we CAN learn.  Once we step into that truth – that we are all continuing to learn and evolve, then we can really trust that we can be the parent we want to be.

And what about the “demanding to find relief” part of what Matt wrote? Well we are already pretty skilled at this, aren’t we? Let’s consider some ways we find relief – we yell, we blame, we shame, we withdraw either physically or emotionally, some of us use substances – food, alcohol, drugs – to feel that relief.

And what do we know about all of these ways of relieving the pain and discomfort of our experience – they are short term and harmful to ourselves and others.  BUT, they seem/feel easier than facing our shadow, and doing the inner work to grow and learn.

And clearly this is BIG. And it is HARD. And it requires us to decide to choose in time and time again…. AND YOU CAN. And isn’t this the ultimate act of compassion and integrity??  SELF compassion and PERSONAL integrity???

IF this is landing for you – bring it up to your therapist, or hire me to coach you and support you in this work, it is what I do! You don’t have to do this alone – the journey is meant to be traveled with others, IMO.

2019 is a year to walk together – to link arms and be in community. I will share a few ways to do that at the end of this podcast….

On a personal note – I want to share solidarity to all of you that deal with partners overseas and single parents. Ben has left us to do some big work in California on the electrical grid. We don’t know how long the work down there will take – could be months. I know it isn’t the SAME as being a single parent, I know that I have the luxury of knowing my partner will be coming home eventually, but I am looking at an extended period of time holding space for the kids without their dad here….   

Clearly I will have ample opportunity to lean into the TRUTH of my experiences vs finding short term relief from what triggers me…

Self care will be crucial. Inviting my kids into more contribution will be crucial – this is a place we have gotten sloppy sloppy. Not that the kids aren’t contributing, just that there is very little structure, which makes me feel crazy and get naggy – no fun for anyone.

So yes, I am sure you will hear me mentioning missing my man over the next little bit…. 

As far as joyful courage is concerned – WOWZER! So much excitement. I have spent the last few weeks writing, recording and editing the interviews for the FIRST EVER parenting TEENS with Positive Discipline Audio Summit. OMG – it is SO GOOD!! 14 interviews with Positive Discipline Educators, Trainers and Lead Trainers who KNOW the trenches of raising teens. Register now – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit.

You will want to register, as I am going to be offering some sweet deals to those that register early in the month. I am so totally excited – again, the link is www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit  . If you are a parent of a teenager, I also encourage you to hop into the Joyful Courage parents of teens FB group – this is a space of support and encouragement from other parents of teens. It is a small but growing group – full of insight and community, check it out.

I am also thrilled to invite you into the Joyful Courage Super Fam through Patreon. This is a group of people who value the podcast so much that they are contributing $10/month and enjoy the benefit of monthly webinars and online support from me. If $10 is to big of a stretch, you are welcome to get in there and contribute what you can. Find out more at www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage.

Ahhhh – it is good to be back!!  I missed you in December!!

Stay tuned, next week I will be sharing a powerful interview with return guest, Sarah Harvey Yoa talking about moving through the energy of emotions – the perfect follow up to todays topic!!!  Big love!

:::

Audio summit for parents of teens

  • One week of real conversations

  • PD trainers who have already been through it

  • The launch starts January 1st

  • Summit will run January 28th – February 1st

REGISTER NOWwww.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 168: A solo show reviewing 2018 and getting clear on what we want MOST

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Creating a Connected Holiday WEBINAR

Monday, December 3rd, 5pm PST and 8pm PST

How are you FEELING about the upcoming holiday season? Excited to host family? Hopeful to bring to life magic for your kids? Anxious about everything going to according to plan?? Bracing yourself for your children's behavior???

I am feeling all of that.

Join me for an hour of exploring how to create a holiday season that FEELS GOOD this year. You will get clear on what it is your want, and leave with tools that will support you in facilitating a holiday that values the connection and love we all crave during this season.

Go to http://www.joyfulcourage.com/connectholiday to register!

:::

Where we have been:

Podcast highlights

Joyful Courage offers

  • I loved leading the JC10 twice this year and having that filter into the Joyful Courage Academy. So fun to work closer with you and support your growth in a really personal, connected way.

Next year is HUGE

  • Be on the look out for more JC10s and JCAs

  • Stay tuned in for the launch of my first BOOK (woah) in the spring

  • The patreon community will be on FIYA

  • AND – an audio summit that I will talk more about later is happening in January.

I am honored to serve you.

:::

Today’s content:

family pic.png
  • Parenting through the self doubt and worry

  • Parenting teens – why have a separate group?

  • What is missing from the resources?

  • The continuum of behavior

  • Attachment and getting a life

  • Intuition and trusting your gut

  • It gets ugly

  • Feeling isolated/shame/ Lisa Fuller episode 87

  • Why meditation/yoga/journaling matters

  • What it really means to be aware

  • The tight rope Kimberly Muench eps 158

  • Pendulum swing

  • Trust and surrender over and over again

  • It’s a crap shoot – the myth of “good parenting”

  • It’s their journey

:::

Audio summit for parents of teens

  • One week of real conversations

  • PD trainers who have already been through it

  • The launch starts January 1st

  • Summit will run January 21st – 25th

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 167: Stacy Davison is on talking about the power of personal pep talk

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Today’s guest is Stacy Davison. Stacy is an instructional coach, entrepreneur, new mom to a rainbow baby boy. Last year Stacy and her husband started the company Personal Peptalk, a line of motivational and uplifting products which they design, illustrate, and self-publish. In her weekly motivational email on her podcast Stacy candidly shares how she dominates life challenges more mindfully. We will be discussing positivity in parenting and life. Join us!

"It’s easy to meditate up on the mountain top but eventually you have to come down and buy groceries.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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  • Finding zen where we are - preparing for the Super Bowl moments

  • The challenges of motherhood and the importance of being real about that

  • Shifting perspective on suffering

  • Choosing love, joy and compassion in moments of difficulty

  • How hanging onto suffering hurts us

  • Letting go of people pleasing to ask for what you need

  • Positivity in times of sorrow

  • Supporting friends in times of loss

  • Love bombs - what they are, how they help

  • Shifting to empowerment and choosing what you want to cultivate

  • Being a joy detective

  • Choosing not to be defined by the things that have happened

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Right, so I’m just getting started on human-ing, I’m 9 months into the journey, but man, it’s been a difficult road already. I’ve had so many opportunities to feel like a failure, to feel guilty and unsure and my goodness, so courage, I think about the willingness to continue to move forward and to continue to take responsibility for my own experiences and my joy so rather than making my son responsible for how I feel, that willingness to continue to look at my own stuff, and look at, “Okay, I’m reacting to my son right now but I think, actually, this has to do with something about me and am I willing to take a look at that for both of our sakes?”

And I don’t think that’s easy. I don’t think the road that I’ve chosen, to be willing to look at the hard stuff, that’s not easy but it’s the path that I’m choosing to go down. I think, as a result, your phrase, your brand, Joyful Courage totally speaks to me. I’m on a mission to find joy and I talk about joy a lot but I think that it takes courage to be willing to look at if I’m not experiencing joy, it probably has a lot more to do with me than it does anyone else around me and I don’t think having a son is going to make that any easier, right, this is another character in my story to get to bring things up for me to get to see that I couldn’t see because I’d never been in the context of a parent. I’m so grateful for him already, for being my teacher and I am brave enough to be willing to continue to travel this road and I’m grateful for friends like you to help me and remind me when I get stuck and need some support because it’s not easy but we have each other, right, and that’s what I’m trying to create with Personal Pep Talk. I don’t have all the answers but I can help love you through it if you’re going through it too.

Resources:

Pep Talk Decks

Where to find:

Personal Pep Talk website - sign up for her Monday Morning Motivation
Personal Pep Talk podcast | Personal Pep Talk Instagram | Personal Pep Talk Tattoos | Personal Pep Talk Facebook

:::

Joyful Courage for Parents of Teenagers

Closed FB group for parents of teenagers. Click here to join us!

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 166: Solo show connecting the dots between how building relationship leads us to more effective parenting

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Solo show!

News:

-       No shows in December, Happy Holidays!

-       January

  • Parenting Teens Audio Summit, YAY!!

  • Launching the first of January – stay tuned to register

  • Summit is live January 21st – 25th

  • Validation, inspiration, nuggets to PRACTICE

-       Patreon

  • Woop woop

  • Alternative to membership program

  • Opportunity to be in exchange of energy

  • www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

  • $1, $5, $10/month options

    • $10 private FB group, Chaos to Calm Ecourse, monthly Webinar based on the questions that are coming up in the group

 This week’s content:

-       Positive parenting is easy when there isn’t a lot of challenge – more challenging when our kids are rubbing up against our triggers

-       Toolbox metaphor

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  • Higher our emotion, more likely we use desperate tools (rewards and punishment)

  • The more tools we put in to toolbox, the more likely it is that the ineffective tools of rewards and punishment slide to the bottom

  • We can always do better

-       Relationship matters!!!!!!

  • When our relationships are disconnected, navigating behavior in a harsh way isn’t useful for anyone

  • Fear takes us towards harsh punishment

-       Mistakes are opportunities to learn

-       There are always consequences

-       Inviting out kids into relationship

  • Can feel uncomfortable

  • Taking accountability for how the relationship currently is and get vulnerable

  • Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we stop being curious with our kids

-       Start paying attention to the body

  • Support ourselves by noticing what is happening inside

  • We get more access to our toolbox when we are grounded and neutral

  • At the end of the day what is most useful is your relationship

  • NOT permission for being a permissive parent – still hold boundaries

  • Stronger relationship the more likely your child will open up and talk to you

-       Creating an environment where our kids can thrive and be a soft landing when they get it wrong

-       Shame/blame does not promote accountability and personal responsibility

:::

Joyful Courage for Parents of Teenagers

Closed FB group for parents of teenagers. Click here to join us!

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 165: Tammy Keces, Head of Irvine Hebrew Day School, is on talking about turning hate into love

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Today’s guest is Tammy Keeces, Head of School at Irvine Hebrew Day School, a former teacher, a positive discipline trainer and mama to three teenagers. She has a Bachelor of Psychology from UCLA, a Masters from Columbia University’s Teacher College in Curriculum and Instruction. She’s currently working on her doctorate. We will be discussing responding to tragic events like the Tree of Life Synagogue tragedy, as well as Judaism, positive discipline and how we can all support each other better. Join us!

"None of us should feel alone.”

“People are children and they just want to belong.”

“God gives us many opportunities for goodness and kindness and this is another way for us to remind ourselves that we need to have hope and we need to have love.”

“We have to come together now, more than ever.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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  • How Irvine Hebrew Day School handled the tragedy in Pittsburgh

  • Developmental appropriate levels of information about tragic events

  • Balancing the feelings of parents and children in the wake of tragedy

  • Meeting hate with love - finding inner resources in the face of fear

  • Ways to encourage our kids to accept others

  • The freeing power of compassion

  • Parallels between the Torah and positive discipline

  • How non-Jewish people can support the Jewish community

  • Teaching our kids about leadership and civic responsibility

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

It’s being brave every day, to make the right decisions for ourselves and those that love us and inviting joy despite the challenges, despite the heartache, we have to choose joy and that’s what you’re doing every day with joyful courage and I think that there’s no other way to live our lives at this point.

Resources:

We’re All Wonders book

Where to find Irvine Hebrew Day School:

Facebook

Website

 :::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

Joyful Courage Coaching

 The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 164: Jeremy Schneider, MFT Talks About Navigating our Partner's Parenting Journey

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Today’s guest is Jeremy Schneider. Jeremy is a Marriage and Family Therapist whose career spans more than 15 years of working with individuals and families focussing on parenting, relationships and mental health. He is the author of Fatherhood in 40 Minute Snapshots and has been  featured on the New York Times, The Today Show and CNN. We will be discussing co-parenting and alignment with our partners. Join us!

"Every step that I take in my personal growth is one less step that they have to take.”

“A lot of parenting is about experimentation.”

“You just get better the more you do it. Just keep trying.”

“We don’t want to be the same parent. We just want to be parenting in the same direction.”


What you’ll hear in this episode:

-Journaling as a way to maintain perspective

-Examining our principles of parenting

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-Deciding what kind of people we want to raise

-Personal growth and parenting - how they relate

-Co-parenting and being in alignment with our parents

-Fatherhood and parental involvement of dads

-Finding balance as co-parents in agreeing on a parenting approach

-The importance of parenting education

-Navigating parenting as a dad when you feel uncertain

-How Dads can model emotional expression for their kids

-Approaching our partners with curiosity about their parenting approach

-Parenting as a practice

-Finding harmony in parenting styles

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

 Having survived a fairly traumatic childhood, I think about courage a lot. I don’t normally think about it in terms of myself and that’s something that I’ve been working on to give myself credit for how far I’ve come and what I’ve been able to do and the kind of relationships I’ve been able to build within my family.

I think Joyful courage is being able to enjoy, not the success, I’m trying to think of the word, being able to bask in this life I’ve built. It took a lot of work to get where I am and my wife and I have worked very hard to get where we are together. And we’ve worked very hard to survive as long as we have with our kids and get this far and I think, to me, one of the phrases that I play a lot in my head is happy chaos. I think of our life as happy chaos.

Chaos doesn’t have to be bad and that’s kind of the way we think about it. My life is chaos, it’s just straight chaotic, because having teenagers and wanting to be there for them and wanting to be there for my wife and build this business and so and so forth; it’s chaos. But it’s a happy chaos because it all involves things that I love.

And to me Joyful Courage has that same kind of feel, right? It’s the freedom, the sort of joyfulness of doing something that takes an enormous effort and overcoming anxiety and fear to be able to do it but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It can still be joyful in that experience of it.

Resources:

Fatherhood in 40 Minute Snapshots

Where to find:

Website | Facebook | Twitter

:::

Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

50% OFF!!

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 163: Solo show about raising boys, healthy masculinity, and growing emotional intelligence

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::: 

Solo Show this week!

First – continues thanks for all of the feedback around the last solo show, where I shared about navigating my daughters mental health issues. It means the world to me to know that the content of the show is landing for you, and making a difference in your life!

This week I am talking about our boys.

  • Toxic Masculinity

  • We have to do better for our boys

  • Partners – emotional intelligence is for everyone

  • Posturing

  • Fragile Egos

  • Curiosity

  • Routine of talking about how we feel

  • It’s not coddling – if we keep toughening them up and having them suppress how they feel we will continue to see cultures where war and violence exist

  • Not blaming

  • Not from a place of fear

  • We all get to be full humans

  • Boys and their fear of labels

  • Build Skills

  • More than just “walk away”

  • Saving face w/o being a dick

  • Being a champion

  • People like him. He can take criticism, doesn’t make people choose friends, and doesn’t blow off someone for a better offer. When people are harassed or demeaned, he intervenes. He’s comfortable hanging out with guys who are both inside and outside the box. He holds his own opinion, but still listens to others.

  • TALK ABOUT IT BEING HARD

  • VALIDATE THEIR EXPERIENCE

  • SUPPORT THEM IN RESPONSES TO LIFE

  • This isn’t helicoptering

  • Belonging significance influence

  • Aren’t feeling it, they will take it where they can

  • Posturing

    • Insecure OR entitled

    • All boys fall into a role where they feel safe

  • Talk to your boys

  • Keep talking

  • Talk about emotions

  • Check your “should/shouldn’t’ at the door

  • Be open, own your mistakes, encourage them when you see life skills on display

  • Love them up

Resources mentioned:
Masterminds and Wingmen by Rosalind Wiseman

::: 

Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

50% OFF!!

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Eps 162: Exploring our Energetic Connection With our Children with Jennifer Griffin

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::: 

Today’s guest is Jennifer Griffin. Jennifer is the mother of four, has her masters in counseling psychology with 30 years of experience guiding children and adults on their relationship journeys. Jennifer is a DIY maven, specializing in leading individuals to uncover the messages in their chronic health conditions and their children’s challenging behaviors. Join us! 

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What you’ll hear in this episode:

-Simple, yet powerful techniques to heal at home

-Taking back your power after trauma

-What is EMDR and how can it help you heal?

- How our kids behaviors can mirror our own unexpressed feelings and frustrations

-How acting out can relate to our own inner struggles

- The iceberg of behavior and how that relates to our children’s behavior and the way they channel their parents frustrations

- Resisting the urge to “fix”

- Understanding generational patterns

- The role of balancing chakras in your child’s behavior

-How claiming our authenticity and expressing our emotions can change how our kids express themselves through their behavior

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Well, in terms of this process of discovering channeling, it means to go forward with joy and courage, not guilt. Celebrate it, embrace it, as I talked about before, grab your partner, grab someone when your kid is having a fit and say “This is what I’m thinking and I’m thinking this and maybe this and I felt this” and try to go through all the different ideas that might be going on and depending on the relationship with your child, some parents choose to share this dynamic with their child and other parents don’t. It can be very powerful that if your child knows this is going on, they can, Arcata now can come to us after she’s knitting or reading a book on tape in her room and say, “I’m really mad out of nowhere, like I was completely happy, I love the book I’m listening to, something’s not right with dad, and will you call him and ask him what?” She’ll say, “I’m really mad or I really hate this” and she’s like, “and I don’t know why.”

So I would just say, it’s fun, it is fun, it’s a different kind of fun than a lot of people might be used to but it’s fascinating, it’s absolutely fascinating when you start taking this perspective. I mean, it’s hard for me to, I mean, I go out and talk to people, I’ll be at a cocktail party or something and someone’s kid, and I’ll say something and then I’m like, “Hmmmm” and I’ll watch the person’s reaction and I don’t think they’re very happy with something I’ve said and their kid will come up and start tugging at them and be like, “I want to go! I want to go right now! I want to leave!” I was right about that. It’s hard for me not to see once you wake up into this way of viewing the world it’s really quite fascinating. So, meet it with joyful courage.

Resources:

Channeling Questionnaire
Embracing your child’s tantrums as a gift - Elephant Journal article 

Where to find:
Understanding Morning Sickness as a Gift
Understanding Your Child as a Spiritual Gift

Facebook | Twitter   | Website

:::

Joyful Courage Coaching

The time is now! If you are interested in working one on one with me now is the TIME. I am taking new coaching clients and would love to support you! Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching and let me know what you need.

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

50% OFF!!

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 161: Solo Show About Navigating Depression and Anxiety

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Solo show – sharing from personal experience

Recap what is happening with my teenager

  • If you listened last year, you heard the struggle

  • Online school

  • Clients I’ve worked with

  • Friends confiding in their experience

What the stats say

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  • My experience of finding information

  • What my gut tells me

  • The ways the world has changed

Why it’s so hard

  • Weight of fear/possible outcomes

  • Lack of control

  • Our own stories

PD is belonging and significance

  • Power of perception

  • What do we do when something feels “wrong” without giving message that they need to be fixed

  • The challenge of meeting them where they’re at

    • My experience with this….

    • Not knowing what this means

    • The dance of acting/fixing vs validating/being

The iceberg

  • Tip of the iceberg

    • They won’t talk, can’t identify what’s “wrong”, tears, withdrawal, aggression/defiance/anger, shut us out

    • Grades/friends/activities

    • Bad after school special

  • Under the surface

    • Hopelessness/fear/not know what or how they are feeling

    • Feelings of disconnection

    • Out of control

    • Anxiety/depression

The range….

  • Not all or nothing

  • Grey areas

  • Our own beliefs about mental health

    • My experience, looking back I was afraid to call it what it was because it made it true

    • My upbringing of not using things (family drama) as a “crutch” messaging

Enmeshment/codependency

  • I am going to get really vulnerable and highlight something that I see showing up because of the dynamics that are currently alive in my family

  • My experience with needing approval – give me the gold star, tell me how great I am

  • Wanting it from my family, especially my dad and step mom

  • Now noticing that I am searching for it from my daughter

  • NO BUENO

Getting spiritual

  • Carolyn Myss

  • My experience of energy work in the context of my relationship with Rowan

  • Life happens for us, so…. This is an experience that is happening for me? For Rowie? 

Acknowledging my controlling tendencies and the message it sends

Letting go/backing off

Having a plan (with school) about what I will and won’t do with a request

Treatment

  • Counseling, naturopath, energy work – this is what WE are doing

  • You do you. Make choices for your kids.

  • Listen to your kids. Listen deeply. Hear without fixing

  • Ask permission

  • Give them space and trust they will come to you

  • Don’t be afraid to go big if things feel really off

  • Ask hard questions

  • GET SUPPORT

  • TALK TO EACH OTHER

  • Quit dismissing teens by saying “everyone feels that way” because even if it’s true this is not what they need to hear – they NEED to feel seen and heard

  • Check your expectations at the door, accept that this is a part of your parenting story

  • Take care of yourself

  • Check your codependency

  • GET HELP – if your gut tells you that what is happening with your child is extreme, seek help.

I say this to you and to myself. We will get to the other side of this, my friends. And only we get to decide if we get to GO through this time of our lives, or if we GROW through it.

Thank you to all of you parents of teens, those of you who are personal friends who have been brave enough to be in conversation with me, clients, listeners – you are not alone.

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is an opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

50% OFF!!

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 160: Debrena Jackson Gandy supports moms in living their JUICIEST lives!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Today’s guest is Debrena Jackson Gandy, a best-selling author of three books, a keynote speaker, a world traveler, a transformational coach, a thought-leader, a sacred self care expert, relationship coach, founder of Juicy Woman University and The Love Academy. We are discussing creating juicy lives for ourselves. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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-Pampering the mind, body and the spirit

-The nourishment of the spirit and why it matters

-Why the first 9 years of life are so important to our beliefs

-Getting past our own default mode

-The guilt that comes from tending to self and martyrdom

-When you feel bad about being good to self

-The Sacred Self-Caring lifestyle vs. the lifestyle we inherit through default

-Satisfaction, joy, ease, peace and flow: how to find it

-Finding a new default for sacred self-care

-The difference between the being and the doing - and the exhaustion that comes from all the doing

-Division of responsibility for children within the home between parents - joint responsibility

-How mothering behavior can block fathering and shared parenting

-Being the architect of our own lives

-When your “thought ware” isn’t aligned with being the architect of your own life

-Baby steps to getting back into alignment

-Debugging our programming

-How beliefs impact attraction

-The path to transformation

-Getting curious about beliefs to make changes

-Morning rituals for prayer and meditation

-Discerning God’s voice from your inner self talk

-The importance of asking in prayer

-Understanding our own greatness and how that impacts our ability to live our birthright

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

 “It means living a life based in truth, and unfortunately, to live truthfully and to speak truthfully in this American culture is seen as something as so courageous and it really shouldn’t have to be lauded as a courageous act to be living as a real person. And unfortunately it gets so many applause, “Oh you’re so courageous to say that, oh you’re so courageous to do that, oh you’re so courageous to speak that” and it’s really just called being truthful.  And so joyful courage is really just living in our naturally truthful selves and because we’re short on truth right about now, even more so in our country then it lets us know we are living away from and in contradiction to our natural selves which our natural selves are truthful.

So if we’re just our natural selves, truthful is the way we operate. So, a joyfully courageous woman has just remembered who she is and shed the false, poisonous, faulty beliefs about who she is, which are really lies, and she’s just living in the natural beauty, power and influence that is consistent with her divine design.”

Resources:

Free Gifts from Debrena’s website
Debrena’s books, courses and more

Where to find:

Website | Facebook | Twitter  | Youtube

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 159: Solo show exploring the power and messiness of Positive Discipline

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  • Belong significance

  • Iceberg

  • Encouragement

  • Kind and firm

  • Presence/seeing/listening

 What I have learned over time

  • My own beliefs get in the way

  • Fear manifests as control and rigidity

  • Trust is the theme of my life

What it means to have a practice

  • Taking care of me

  • Exploring worthiness

  • Developing intention

  • Modeling what I want

  • Returning to the basics

  • Check assumptions

  • Read and learn about development!

    • What speaks to you???

    • So many people and programs…. What/who makes sense to you? Where do you feel seen?

Things to keep in mind

  • There is no perfect

  • Spirituality/energetics matter – this is bigger than me

  • Its messy, not formulaic

  • Blame serves no one

  • There is no end point

  • Finding a sense of peace inside of the chaos is life goals

  • Comparing is not useful – ever

You are the parent your child picked, not because you are perfect, but because you are you. Parenting is an opportunity to heal old wounds, to mend relationships, and grow as an individual, if you let it be

 :::

Joyful Courage Academy

Participants will gain confidence and clarity, as well as practical tools for navigating the parenting journey with love, connection and presence through deepening their understanding of Positive Discipline.

The power and momentum of learning inside of a like-minded community, a safe space where you can stretch, share authentically, and show up vulnerably is hard to quantify. The Joyful Courage Academy was created to be that place for you. It is a deep dive into the work of becoming ever more conscious and intentional as you bump up against the challenges of raising your kids.

Sign up now – www.joyfulcourage.com/academy

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

50% off all the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/shop

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Daily Intention Cards

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Joyful Courage Tanks

Wear your declaration!!  Joyful Courage tanks are CUTE and they are a great way to spread the word about this powerful work. Get yours now – good while supplies last!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 158: Kimberly Muench talks about the tight rope walk of raising teens

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

Today’s guest is Kim Muench. She is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers. She is the mother of 5 kids ages 13-31. She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

-When children arrive at adolescence

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- The balance of boundaries and relationship building with our teens

- Choosing your battles

- Defining your family values

- Setting an example for your kids

- Defining non-negotiables

- Ways to offer choices to your teenager

- Detaching from the outcome

- Prioritizing personal care and personal development

- The illusion of control

- Individuation and what that can look like

- Supporting our kids in making better choices with alcohol

- Being okay with kids failing or things taking longer

- Trusting vs hovering - learning to detach

- Taking a long view to your relationship with your kids

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm. And I love the two words together, I think it’s fantastic.

Resources:

Episode 82: Tweens and Smart Phones

Where to find:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community

:::

 

:::

Mother’s Journey  Home to Herself
Overland Park, KS

Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together – so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day.

A Mother’s Journey Home to Herself is an invitation for deep personal inquiry, while practicing tools for deepening relationship with ourselves and our family, resulting in more cooperation and ease and joy during this exceptionally time of our lives.

Find out more and register now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mjweekend/

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

50% off all the goods at the Joyful Courage SHOP
www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 157: SOLO SHOW - Back to school musings with Casey - stress, routines and being more aware

casey pic (1).png

Woohoo – how is YOUR back to school? This episode acknowledges what we are all going through as we support our kids and ourselves in coming back to a back to school routine.

I know, it is hard to shake off the summer. But that is what is happening. I share about my own experience with sending off two kids to two very different school settings, and what is coming up for me as they navigate the transition.

And the navigation is still VERY MUCH ALIVE!!

 I mention tools and strategies for finding peace and flow, or at least dull the roar of making this shift, and I am so happy you are listening in!!

:::

Mother’s Journey  Home to Herself
Overland Park, KS

Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together – so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day.

A Mother’s Journey Home to Herself is an invitation for deep personal inquiry, while practicing tools for deepening relationship with ourselves and our family, resulting in more cooperation and ease and joy during this exceptionally time of our lives.

Find out more and register now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mjweekend/

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Eps 156: Heather Chauvin Finds Herself Through Teaching her Children Meditation and Returning to Health

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::

Today’s guest is Heather Chauvin. Heather Chauvin has been named the next generation’s thought leader in parenting and women’s leadership. Her mission is to crack women open to their deep potential. Heather is a TEDx speaker and the creator of the Mom Is In Control podcast and has been featured on the OWN network, Huffington Post, TV outlets and others. With wit and wisdom, Heather inspires a global community of women to take back control of their lives and evolve how they want to lead, work, play and parent. We are discussing mindful meditation. Join us!

"There was always this contrast of who I wanted to be in the world versus who everyone else thought I should be."

“We can’t get our children’s respect unless we respect our children and deeper than that, we need to learn to respect ourselves.”

“Mindful meditation to me means awareness. Simple awareness.”

“Really, it’s about doing less.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

- The importance of mindfulness for parents and kids

-  Sustainable ambition theory - Survival Mode, Momentum, Thrival Mode

-  Learning to live outside of survival mode

-  Meditation as a tool in parenting and life

- Why it’s easier to teach a child to meditate than an adult

- Co-creation as mindfulness

- Mindfulness for older kids

- Parenting as emotional growth on steroids

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- The value of quiet

- Listening to your child without trying to fix them as mindfulness

- Giving yourself permission to let go of how things look

- The responsibility of personal growth and the intergenerational impacts

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Being yourself, simply put. Being yourself and having the courage to figure out who that is and what that feels like and just keep going after the things that light you up, because that’s joy and it’s going to be uncomfortable to do that.

Resources:

Heather’s TEDx talk

Teach Your Kid To Meditate

 

Where to find Heather:

Website

Mom is in Control Podcast

Instagram

:::

#JoyfulCourage10

Yes!!  This is such a fun and transformational 10 day program – and it is FREE!!  We start tomorrow so get ON IT and register now!!!  www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

Mother’s Journey  Home to Herself
Overland Park, KS

Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together – so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day.

A Mother’s Journey Home to Herself is an invitation for deep personal inquiry, while practicing tools for deepening relationship with ourselves and our family, resulting in more cooperation and ease and joy during this exceptionally time of our lives.

Find out more and register now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mjweekend/

:::

Become a Joyful Courage PATRON!

You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast.

:::

Living Joyful Courage MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM

I would love LOVE to have you in the membership. It’s some good learning and community – EXACTLY what you need to transform the climate of your home.

Check it out à www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc

:::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!