Eps 127: A solo show about WHY our job is to hold space for our kids and HOW to do it

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Holding space for having a 15 YEAR OLD!!  WHOA!!

What is happening in the BIZ

  • Membership is HAPPENING

  • Alumni group calls

  • Ecourses

  • Coaching calls

    • What is happening in the collective is happening in the individual

    • I speak to the community and I am speaking to myself

    • TRUST – BIG PICTURE – MARATHON NOT A SPRINT

How to “hold the container”

  • Jessica talking about “our job is to be the container”

  • Present, available, confident – even as our kids are making mistakes

  • I got you – I am unconditional

Our response matters

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  • Who we be comes before what we do

    • We can handle it

    • Everything will be ok, or not, either way, we stand by our kids

    • We trust that they can handle what life gives them, and we support them inside of that (the world’s consequences, etc)

  • What to do becomes more clear when we practice being in the moment, vs in our emo/fear

    • Learn how to recognize we are there when we are there

    • Practice being with our overwhelm without letting it takes us over (observers)

      • Simple but not easy!!! Takes time!!

    • What we are trying to do is REWIRE the brain (Tina Bryson show 126)

    • Be witness to the presence of the emotional freight train, but let it idle

      • My book!!! Next Fall!!! WOOHOO

Our kids make mistakes

  • Lagging skills/ impulse/ brain development – DON’T BE SURPRISED BY IT

  • Cause and effect

  • Pushing boundaries to know where they are and who YOU are in the process

    • Making judgements about themselves and their peeps

      • Trust? Safety? Dependability? Can they handle this???

BUT WHAT DO WE DO???

  • Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting – “I am not going to sit here and pretend that I have all the answers to all of your problems. I don’t know you or your families…”

  • What are the outcomes that you want? What are the skills that you are hoping that your adult child will one day embody?

    • What are the skills your child is showing you (through behavior) that they are missing?

    • What is a solution to the challenge that will help them learn those skills?

    • Is there something to “make right”?

    • How can you say less and listen more???

    • Remember – finding solutions to problems, including a “plan for next time” or a “plan to fix the mistake/make things right,” finding solutions are always consequences – HOWEVER consequences that we impose on our children are NOT always a solution to problems.

      • WHAT DO WE DO often is a request for “what do we do to them?”

Kids do better when they feel better. – Jane Nelsen

Kids want to succeed, they don't always know how. – Ross Greene

A Misbehaving child is a discouraged child. – Rudolf Dreikurs

Humans are always moving towards a sense of belonging and significance, am I connected? Do I matter? – from Aderian Theory

The most powerful tool you have for influencing behavior is the relationship that you nurture with your child. Choosing into the work of Joyful Courage, which really means being willing to grow and practice awareness, being present to your child and your experience, and hold space for your kids, no matter how they are showing up, THIS will nurture and preserve relationship.

So – what do you think? Does this make sense to you?? Do you have thoughts about this?

Come join the community discussion over in Live and Love with Joyful Courage. This is a closed FB group for listeners and parents that appreciate this conversation and are committed to learning and supporting each other on the journey.

Thank you so much for listening today – super DUPER appreciate all you moms and dads out there doing the work of making the world a better place through showing up well for your children!!

I will be back next week with Liz Blackwell-Moore talking about teens and drugs – GAH!!!  I know – it’s scary, but listen anyways because she is brilliant and the conversation is helpful!!

Big love!!

Eps 83: Finding our Inner Abundant Mama with Shawn Fink

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

Today’s guest is Shawn Fink, also known as Abundant Mama. She is a mom of eleven-year-old twin girls. We are discussing living a life of abundance in our parenting. Join us!

“There is enough happiness, joy and love in the world for everybody.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

·      Moving from scarcity to abundance mindsets – from jealousy to gratitude

·      Abundance as a way to mother yourself, be authentic and be aware of what’s around and within you

·      Being awesomely awake: paying attention to your life, being mindful and living intentionally

·      Self-care vs Soul-care – what’s the difference and how can it change your life and the way you see it?

·      Being present and discomfort – learning to navigate it vs as being a way to eliminate it

·       How to exercise self-compassion when you haven’t showed up in the way that you’ve hoped to

·      Modelling asking for forgiveness for your kids

·       The joys and challenges of raising tweens

·      Motherhood as self-invention

·      Learning to connect with your children as they grow – navigating relationship change

·      The value in letting kids fail when they need to – leaving room for life lessons and learning how to handle discomfort

·      The power of injecting playfulness into your routine and how it can be productive

·      Finding joy in obligation

·      Building habits for effectiveness in your parenting life

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage is the joyful ability to completely show up as yourself and be you, as a mom, it’s really hard because we are trying so hard to keep everyone else happy. There is nothing better for our kids than for them to see us being fully ourselves.

Resources:

Insight timer

The Playful Family E-book

The Abundant Mama online program

10 Habits of Highly Effective Mamas

 

Where to find Shawn:

Facebook l Instagram l Twitter l Pinterest l Website

 

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Join the LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE information list TODAY and enjoy freebies and reminders for when it is time to REGISTER for the membership program!!

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Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

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Eps 68: Dropping into Ourselves with Sara Harvey Yao

Today’s guest is Sara Yao, a leadership coach who transitioned to self-employment on the birth of her child. While her book doesn’t focus on parenting specifically, the principles are incredibly relevant to parenting. Join us!

“It’s about how often you can be present, not how often you can be perfect.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What is a leader and how does it relate to parenting?

  • The value of presence, stability and connectedness relative to skills competency

  • Impacts of going on autopilot on parenting and family relationships

  • The practice of pausing to break autopilot

  • Reactive tendencies (complying, detaching, and controlling) - what they are and how they develop

  • The way presence and mindfulness create choice in parenting

  • Modeling - how we pass on our reactive tendencies to our kids

  • How to take a “presence first” approach to parenting to overcome our own reactive tendencies

  • Cultivating presence – how to become more mindful

  • “Survival fear,” sleep deprivation and hormones and the impact of an adrenalized state on our parenting

  • How to start small to create more awareness more often to build a habit of mindfulness.

  • Mindfulness, perfectionism and self-compassion: recognizing increased presence shouldn’t create an expectation of perfection

  • Tuning into body sensation to be present and noticing

  • Breathing techniques – “box breathing” to calm you down when your nervous system is riled up

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“I have such deep respect for myself and for others when they are just willing to examine and question – when they do, the liberation that comes from moving out of a pattern or coming to and waking up, that to me is the epitome of joyful courage. Have the courage to look, feel free and at choice again.”

Resources:

Her book, “Drop in: Leading with deeper presence and courage”
Her book, Get Present

Where to find Sara:

Facebook l Twitter l Her website

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#JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition
The #JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition is a powerful opportunity to stay more intentional and grounded during the coming holiday season. Click here to find out more and to register.

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Eps 43: Jiovann Carrasco Talks Mindfulness and Parenting

Welcome! My guest today is Jiovann Carrasco, a psychotherapist in Austin, TX. Jiovann is the owner of the Austin Mindfulness Center, a meditator, and the author of an online mindfulness program called Follow your Breath. He is an engaged and connected father to two young kids and worked as a stay-at-home dad for two years! Let’s jump into this topic of mindfulness with Jiovann!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • How Jiovann began practicing meditation in 2008, as a result of the anxiety and panic attacks from his stressful job as a therapist at a group home

  • How Zen meditation changed Jiovann and allowed him to connect with himself like never before

  • How does Jiovann define mindfulness? “Attending to whatever arises in the present moment without trying to change it or judge it.”

  • Jiovann explains the benefits to mindfulness in parenting.

  • Why Jiovann took a popular course on Positive Discipline and became a certified parent educator

  • Jiovann explains how to bring mindfulness to even the everyday mundane tasks required in parenting.

  • How Jiovann structures his early morning meditation practice and time with his kids

  • How kids already know how to be mindful and present WAY more than adults

  • Fearful thoughts and worries are what our minds naturally focus on; mindfulness finds ways to shine the spotlight on anything else in the present moment.

  • Jiovann explains the basics of his 6-week, on-demand, online course. See details below!

  • What does joyful courage mean to Jiovann? “Mindfulness is one of the most courageous things to do. It’s intentionally moving toward the fears, and joy and happiness are natural by-products.”

Connect with Jiovann:

www.austinmindfulness.org (Find information on the course, Follow Your Breath, including meditation audio, downloadables, journals, practice logs, videos, and access to the Facebook group. The normal price is $299, but through the end of 2016, the course is available for 50% off. But wait, it gets better!

FOLLOW YOUR BREATHE MINDFULNESS COURSE EXTRA DISCOUNT:

For JCP listeners, take an additional 35% off, which brings the price UNDER $100!) --- CLICK HERE FOR THE DISCOUNT!

Facebook l Twitter l Instagram

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Want MORE??  Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

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