Eps 114: Support for the New Sibling Transition with Sarah Rosensweet

Sarah Rosensweet is my guest today!! Sarah is a peaceful parenting coach– and a mama to 3 big kids (16, 13 and 10). She teaches parents a non-punitive, connection based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah helps parents of toddlers-to-tweens turn philosophy into practice with solutions for real-life struggles such as bedtime battles, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, tantrums and meltdowns, and power struggles.

Sarah has had over 20 years experience working with families and children in early childhood education and schools. She’s an API certified parenting educator and a certified Aha! Peaceful Parenting Coach with Dr. Laura Markham.

What you will hear:

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  • Toddlerhood experience allowed for Sarah to begin her journey towards parenting peacefully

  • Turning away from the advice of “don’t let them manipulate you”

  • Navigating fear

  • The transition of the new sibling can catch us off guard

  • Perspective of the older child is, not such a great thing

  • Our olders have mixed feelings

  • The mama bear instincts kick in and we often find ourselves pushing our older children away. Recognizing the feelings- awareness of what is happening internally for us

  • What shows up with our older children? Regression and aggression

  • What to do? Nurture them, love on them, connect with them, baby them as much as possible

  • Aggression comes from fear – they are acting out their bad feelings

  • Cure – more connection, more empathy

  • “My child is not giving me a problem, my child is having a problem”

  • Emotional backpacks are all of the emotions that show up throughout our experience that we put away for “later”

  • Meltdowns and tantrums are how our children release their emotional backpacks

  • Processing through laughter – get them laughing every day!

  • Rough housing as a proactive energy/emotional release

  • Pete’s a Pizza – William Steig

  • Welcome mixed feelings, schedule one on one time

  • “I wonder…….. “ opens the door for them to express mixed feelings

  • Lack of understanding and empathy can lead a child to feel as though there is something wrong with them

  • Sometimes challenges show up when baby is a newborn, and sometimes it is when the babe gets a bit older

  • Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham

  • ^^ supports children in helping them find solutions that work for both sibs, rather than leaving it to them to figure out how to work things out

  • Special time – joining them in their world of imagination and play – 15 minutes/day with the older child

  • Misbehavior as a signal and look for positive intent

  • Look at your language – shift the language you use that doesn’t include the babe. Ex, “I am busy with the baby” to “I will help you when my hands aren’t full!”

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“I think that one, putting aside our own story of worry and negativity of our own child and trusting that love is enough. Really just Trusting in the love that we have and not getting attached to the worry and fear, I think that takes a ton, ton, ton of courage. And just recognizing that what you are doing is so hard. It’s amazing how many people do have more that one child, because it is hard, it’s hard work.”

Website l FB Group
Sarah’s FREE Stop Yelling Ecourse
Sarah’s virtual Introducing New Baby Workshop ((STARTS 10/19)

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Daily Intention Cards

Ready for some support in the practice of being a conscious parent??  I am so excited to share my latest project with the community. A deck of DAILY intention cards that you can use as you grow in your awareness of BEING the parent you most desire to be!

Follow me on Instagram as I roll them out to the community!

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Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage

PNW FALL TOUR!!

Registration remains open for my Portland and Boise events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.

www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

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Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!

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CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Eps 69: Laurie Prusso Hatch Helps us Understand Hurtful Behavior in Young Kids

Sign up for the #Joyfulcourage10-holiday edition now

Today’s guest is Laurie Hatch, a “radical grandma” with strong ideas and opinions about how children who can be raised. She has eleven kids, 44 grandkids and has worked in education, now consulting and training. We are going to talk about kids under 5 and how to handle aggressive behavior. Join us!

“If I could teach parents one thing it would be: never expect kids to share. Kids do not share until the ages of 4 and 5 when it becomes important to them to have a playmate who stays with them and collaborates”

“Sharing is one of the most inappropriate expectations we have in childhood and a huge trigger. We were taught to be nice and share and that if you don’t share you aren’t nice.”

“About the time we start to figure out parenting, we are done”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

•    Exploring the language we use to describe behaviors our kids engage in
*    How separating ourselves from our children’s behavior changes how we describe and perceive it
*     Sibling rivalry and how we help create it
*    The role of supervision in mitigating sibling conflict
*    What is scaffolding and how does it relate to correcting behavior?
*    Setting reasonable expectations around kid’s ability to self-regulate: improvement vs. mastery
*    Child development and how that impacts how sibling conflict plays out
*    Resolving conflict through curiosity
*    Naturalist observational report: talking to kids about what happened absent of judgment and assumption
*    Sharing expectations: why and when developmentally kids share and how expecting it can create challenges
*    Biting and tantrums in context: how language and maturity impact these phases
*    Backtalk versus advocacy: reframing sassy behavior
*    Repetitive behaviors: chances to try different approaches to resolve conflict
•    Nurturing in the heat of conflict: why it helps and how to do it even when it’s hard.
•    Solutions vs punishments. Focusing on the goal and expected behavior and being permissive aren’t the same thing, resolution doesn’t need to be punitive
•    Relationship repair and how to recover from parenting missteps
•    Spanking – where does it come from and what else can you do in the moment
•    Post-conflict recaps: encouraging perspective taking and problem solving
•    The role of family meetings: connecting rather than blaming
•    Parenting education helps learn about parenting process
*    Triggers: why do we have them and what they can teach us about ourselves?
*    Self-care and parenting – how journaling can help
*    Problem solving without fault

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“Joy is the essence of being centered in truth. Courage is heart. I try to live so my life and heart are centered on the things I know are true. I have limited knowledge so I’m continually looking for that. I draw on my courage so that I can speak out in active ways that are in harmony with what I believe. Joy is not fleeting, it’s not like happiness. Joy is a constant and a choice in life. If you have joy in your heart, you’re able to endure challenges and adversity because you have this constant centered on truth." 

Where to find Laurie:
Website

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#JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition
The #JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition is a powerful opportunity to stay more intentional and grounded during the coming holiday season. Click here to find out more and to register.

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Help to spread the word!
The goal for this month is 15,000 downloads of the podcast! Talk to your friends and family about the show and the value you find in listening in - then encourage them to do the same! Increasing the numbers makes is more sustainable and allows me to continue to have these epic parenting conversations! YES!

Eps 67: Nicole Schwarz and I puzzle out sibling conflict questions from the community

Today’s guest is Nicole Schwarz, from Imperfect Families. She’s a mom of 3 girls, a parenting coach and child and family therapist who focuses on helping parents use positive, respectful strategies with their kids. Today we are talking about sibling conflict. The questions we are discussing come straight from the community - join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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•    How to keep sibling conflict to a dull roar with a relationship focus in your parenting

•    Balancing the desire to step in with giving space for them to work it out for themselves

•    “Say what you see” approach to conflict resolution by describing it

•    Role of modeling and coaching for creative solutions

•    Deescalating techniques to resolve conflict

•    Understanding the role of neurological development on decision making in conflict

•    Having empathy for a sense of injustice and encouraging empathy in your kids

•    Teaching kids that “people get what they need” and how that might be different and lead to perceived inequity

•    Understanding impulse control limitations and flooding and how it leads to physical acting out

•    Using proactive practice and play based knowledge to avoid future conflict

•    How to focus on what led to acting out to avoid shaming while encouraging learning

•    Exercising compassion around evolving nature of self-regulation

•    Understanding jealous and resentment around new babies and the needs of other siblings

•    Introducing the concept of mixed feelings to kids who are too young to have that insight for themselves

•    Coaching around sharing toys and how to place limits on it – sharing power, soliciting and implementing solutions from your kids

•    Improving connection to reduce rivalry – using one-on-one time to address your child’s jealousy

•    The value of shifting focus from our kid’s behavior to our own behavior – recognizing it’s the only thing we can control

•    Contextualizing power struggles as kids trying to navigate their world

•    Reframing “bossy” behavior in a positive way and channeling it for good

•    Changing how we see tattling

•    The value of redo’s and self care

 

Resources:

Brain in the Palm for Kids video
Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber
Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For Life by Dr. Laura Markham
 

Where to find Nicole:

Facebook l Twitter I Her website

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#JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition

The #JoyfulCourage10 - Holiday Edition is a powerful opportunity to stay more intentional and grounded during the coming holiday season. Click here to find out more and to register.

::::::::::

Help to spread the word!

The goal for this month is 15,000 downloads of the podcast! Talk to your friends and family about the show and the value you find in listening in - then encourage them to do the same! Increasing the numbers makes is more sustainable and allows me to continue to have these epic parenting conversations!

Eps 37: Dr. Laura Markham on holding space for siblings to get along

I am so excited to share this conversation with listeners...  Dr. Laura Markham is one of the leading voices in the parenting arena and full of easy to digest tips and tools for parents with kids of all ages!

I was BEYOND honored when she agreed to come on my show!

Listen in as we talk all about how to create space for our kids to get along, explore what keeps kids from connecting, and dig in to how one on one time with each of our children actually helps the sibling bond grow.

Dr. Laura's bio from her website:

Dr. Laura Markham trained as a Clinical Psychologist, earning her PhD from Columbia University.  But she's also a mom, so she translates proven science into the practical solutions you need for the family life you want.

The founding editor of AhaParenting.com, Dr. Laura also serves as a parenting expert for Mothering.com, Psychology Today, The Natural Parent Magazine, Pregnancy.org, Girlie Girl Army, SheKnows.com, and several other websites.  She makes frequent TV and radio appearances and has been interviewed for hundreds of articles by publications as diverse as The Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Newsday, Men's Health, Redbook and Parents Magazine.

Dr. Laura's relationship-based parenting model has helped thousands of families across the U.S. and Canada find compassionate, common-sense solutions to everything from separation anxiety and sleep problems to sass talk and cell phones. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two terrific kids -- now 20 and 24!

Resources mentioned:
Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids
Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings
John Gottman's work with couples and marriage

Where to find/follow Dr. Laura's work:
www.ahaparenting.com
Facebook
Twitter

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****Limited time offer****

About MAZLO --- click here to check out the offer mentioned on the show.  If you are interested in checking out the Calm and Connected Parenting Program FOR FREE send an emaill to casey@joyfulcourage.com.  Put "Mazlo Coupon" in the subject line!!  

And don't forget to join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.

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