Eps 145: Deborah Reber is on Talking About Raising Differently Wired Kids

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Today’s guest is Deborah Reber, mother of an autistic son, founder of Tilt Parenting to help parents find more peace, joy and support along the way while parenting an atypical child in a conventional world. We are discussing her new book. Join us!

“It's hard to know what to do when you realize your kid is atypical."

"Kids who are exceptional really just means the exception"

"We have to battle our insecurities maybe a little bit more because what we are doing isn't necessarily working."

"Behavior is all information. It isn't personal."

"Judgment is where we create separation."

What you’ll hear in this episode:

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  • The loneliness of raising a differently wired kid

  • Accommodating kids with invisible differences

  • Introversion vs extroversion and how they are perceived in the classroom

  • Applying positive discipline parenting philosophies to differently wired kids

  • Managing expectations in problem solving when raising neuro atypical kids

  • Becoming aware of our own judgements of other people's children

  • How to be a support when you see a child acting out in public

  • Approaching neuro differences as parents and discussing them with our kids

  • Educators and parents of neuro-typical kids as allies to parents of neuro atypical kids

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I just keep thinking bravery. I think the parents who are raising kids who are moving through the world a little differently have to be brave even when they don't feel brave and so I would say, "Keep going back in, when we have a bad day and showing up and being present with bravery. Presence and bravery. Presence has been the thing that has changed my experience with Asher more than any other tool and it's in the presence that I've been able to find joy in our parenting together.

Resources:

Differently Wired

Where to find Deborah:

Tilt Parenting l Facebook l Twitter l Instagram 

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH June 15th!

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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Eps 120: Dr. Robin McEvoy is on Talking About Decoding our Children with Complex Issues

Guest Intro:

Dr. Robin McEvoy is a developmental neuropsychologist practicing in Denver, Colorado.  She evaluates and diagnoses a wide range of learning disabilities and learning needs in children, adolescents and adults. This includes the identification of reading disabilities such as dyslexia. She then works with the family to develop a treatment plan to remediate the weaknesses and accentuate strengths. In addition to her private practice, Dr. McEvoy is an assistant professor at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. Dr. McEvoy has authored a children’s book, Buddy: A Story for Dyslexia  (illustrated by her daughter).  She is the co-author/editor of the recently published book, Child Decoded: Unlocking Complex Issues in Your Child’s Learning, Behavior, and Attention.

Content:

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  • Child Decoded – inspired by the tough expectations and increase in labeling/diagnoses of academic/social development.

  • Using a master checklist as a guide for finding what it is they need

  • Checklist is a triage

  • Looking under the surface – physical/biomedical limitations

  • Diet and gut and neurons

  • Parents navigating all the services for their children with complex issues – and feeling as though no one else can “see” their child the way that they can

  • Gather evidence with video and photo to share information about your child

  • Child Decoded fills that gap for parents to go from “I have worries” to restarting when parents feeling stuck in the treatment/not sure what to do or where to go next

  • Modify the environment vs supporting our kids in living in the “real world”

  • Paradigm shift – we can be seeing every child in a more holistic way, look at every child as an individual… Mind AND body

  • Current lens – we tend to treat at the symptom level with the “quickest” approach (lots of times with meds)

  • Sometimes the answer is really simple

  • Complimentary/Alternative medicine

  • Both/and mindset… so many solutions in both western and eastern medicine

  • Putting together the team – who is needed?

  • How do you support parents with overwhelm and loneliness as they advocate for their kids…? Find support on the internet/social media – be proactive in seeking out support

  • Breathe – complex issues or not, you are in this for the long haul

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“Know that you have more experience with your child than anyone else…  You know your child the best. Have faith in your child, have faith in yourself.”

Robinmcevoy.com l Childdecoded.com

Blog l FB – Dr. Robin McEvoy

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Eps 91: Janet Allison, From Boys Alive! is on Supporting us in Raising Our Boys

Today’s guest is Janet Allison, a Waldorf teacher and family coach. We are discussing boys and how they learn. Join us!

“Be aware of his need to move his body. It’s absolutely critical that he have some time before school to move his body.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

·      Gender-based differences in learning styles – the value of kinetic learning when teaching boys
·      How modern teaching methods set our boys up to fail
·      Maturity and developmental differences between genders
·      Expulsion rates of boys vs girls in pre-k
·      Impacts of the learning environment on boys’ self-esteem
·      Optimal learning environments for boys
·      Best age for starting school and the disconnect between intellectual and emotional development
·      Managing expectations of practice vs. mastery
·      Releasing physical energy to support emotional regulation
·      Finding ways to accommodate “wriggly kids” in the classroom
·       Building relationships with your son’s teacher – what questions to ask
·      How to encourage independence and service to others
·      Supporting your child in remembering things
·      Relevance/meaning and learning by doing: educational approaches that work for boys
·      The value of trades education
·      The benefits of mentorship – how to find a mentor for your child and be intentional in your relationship building

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful courage means being willing to step out of complacency, out of the box, and follow that inner voice that you have saying “Yes!” even when you are in doubt or fear say “Yes!” anyways and I strive to do this in everything I do is bring joy to it. Go to the grocery store and find some joy. I have a friend who buys flowers every Tuesday during her grocery shopping and her goal is to give those flowers away by the time she gets back to her house….Stepping out of our boxes and our little narrow lanes and our busy-ness or overwhelm in our own life but just stepping out a little bit to see there’s this world out there and what can I do to bring joy into the world – and we need it.

Resources:

The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian

Where to find Janet:

Boysalive.com l Facebook l Boysalive Facebook group l Twitter l LinkedIn

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Weekly FB Lives are happening!!

Join me every Tuesday at 10am pst on the Joyful Courage FB page to hear about a new Positive Discipline tool that you can begin using ASAP.  Even if you are well versed in parenting with PD, you will take a way a renewed commitment and perhaps a deeper understanding of the tool.

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Eps 87: Lisa Fuller is on Supporting us With Shame Resilience

Today’s guest is Lisa Fuller.  Lisa Fuller, M.S.W., Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, has been working with parents since 2005 to help them find joy and moment of peace even in the midst of chaos. Lisa’s a compassionate listener whose committed to empowering parents through Positive Discipline’s common sense principles. Having three children ages 21, 17 and 10, Lisa’s steeped in the challenges and joys of parenting. Lisa also offers one on one coaching for parenting and life! She believes the world is a better place when we—adults and children—strive to treat each other with respect and love.

Today we are talking about developing shame resilience.

“Shame is something that we all have. It’s universal. Every human being experiences shame – those who don’t usually have some significant problems. It’s not a bad thing. That’s one good thing about shame – it means you are a caring human being.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What is shame and why should we talk about it?

  • How positive discipline relates to shame

  • Shame and guilt – what’s the difference? How do they connect to humiliation and embarrassment?

  • The physical sensations of shame

  • The individual personal nature of shame

  • Practicing critical awareness – how to reality check the messages that are driving your shame

  • The value of having someone to talk through shame with

  • What makes a good person to talk shame with

  • How to encourage shame resilience in children

  • Reducing shame by normalizing experiences

  • Creating opportunities for belonging

  • What it means to lead with the message with love

  • How to connect without trying to fix

  • Empathy and shame – how to support when you can’t relate to the experience

  • Cultivating relationships that allow us to speak to our shame

  • How to show up in your relationships that shows you are a safe place to talk shame

  • Doing vs Being – their roles in building shame resilience

  • Personal practices for finding joy within instead of looking to our children to complete us

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Taking risks with heart. The courage is taking the risks and moving ahead and doing it but doing it with your full being. The last couple years I’ve had some very significant deaths in my life and I think in so many ways it’s been a gift – it does highlight joy, the simple joy of being alive and how I’m able to be more grateful that I have this gift of life which isn’t going to last forever. Losing people who are close to us that’s the upside is that we go “Wow, this is temporary, this life, it really is.” I think when we get caught in the swirl of parenting we can ‘beam in’ – these other, bigger issues help us beam out. Joy helps with shame and getting perspective.

Resources:

The Daring Way

Daring Greatly

Monthly Support Group (With Marcillie Smith Boyle and Lisa Fuller)

Where to find Lisa:

Website l Twitter l Facebook l LinkedIn

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Weekly FB Lives are happening!!

Join me every Tuesday at 10am pst on the Joyful Courage FB page to hear about a new Positive Discipline tool that you can begin using ASAP.  Even if you are well versed in parenting with PD, you will take a way a renewed commitment and perhaps a deeper understanding of the tool.

:::::

Join the Joyful CourageTribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!